How Can You Protect Yourself?


Again, like your house, your husband would only get half of the increase of the value of you money market during the time you were married. If you had 20K Money market before marriage that is your separate property. If you contributed $1000 dollars to it during the marriage half of that is his. $500

You can’t protect your retirement accounts like you state. You will only end up liquidating them (at a huge tax penalty to yourself) and then be forced to give half the money to your spouse.

Again he is only entitled to the increase in value during the time of the marriage.

If you have only been married a brief time then I doubt there has been any increase in their value, period.

Here is what the law says:

NC 50#8209;20.1. Pension and retirement benefits.

d) The award shall be determined using the proportion of time the marriage existed (up to the date of separation of the parties), simultaneously with the employment which earned the vested and nonvested pension, retirement, or deferred compensation benefit, to the total amount of time of employment. The award shall be based on the vested and nonvested accrued benefit, as provided by the plan or fund, calculated as of the date of separation, and shall not include contributions, years of service, or compensation which may accrue after the date of separation. The award shall include gains and losses on the prorated portion of the benefit vested at the date of separation.

(e) No award shall exceed fifty percent (50%) of the benefits the person against whom the award is made is entitled to receive as vested and nonvested pension, retirement, or other deferred compensation benefits, except that an award may exceed fifty percent (50%) if (i) other assets subject to equitable distribution are insufficient; or (ii) there is difficulty in distributing any asset or any interest in a business, corporation, or profession; or (iii) it is economically desirable for one party to retain an asset or interest that is intact and free from any claim or interference by the other party; or (iv) more than one pension or retirement system or deferred compensation plan or fund is involved, but the benefits award may not exceed fifty percent (50%) of the total benefits of all the plans added together; or (v) both parties consent. In no event shall an award exceed fifty percent (50%) if a plan prohibits an award in excess of fifty percent (50%).

Look here: … er_50.html


The division of retirement is held only to the amount that was contributed during the marriage. Any amount that was in the account prior to the marriage is separate property.

This is also a good bargaining tool. Some, in order to preserve their retirement, will allow their spouse to take the marital home in return for not having to divide that money, or negotiate not asking for alimony. The marital home, all accounts, all other assets (vehicles, boats, land, etc…) would be divided between the spouses so if you have no interest in keeping a car, you can choose to give it up for your stbx not asking for 1/2 the 401K…
Any of that can be put into someone else’s name but be aware that your stbx will still be entitled, if desired, for 1/2 of the amount accrued during the marriage. An attorney would not advise you to “hide” marital assets since the separation has already begun. If this goes to court, and your stbx subpeonaes any of your finacial records, this withdrawal and transfer would show up.

You should consult with an attorney and get a separation agreement drawn up. If ED is not filed prior to absolute divorce being granted then all rights to request ED is forfeit.


Why would I leave my own home? A home in MY name. There is no guarantee that he will leave either. We currently have seperate bedrooms and have not lived together as husband and wife for over 2 months. I’m not paying for an apartment and a mortgage too. For all intense purposes I’m seperated. Don’t need an attorney to draw up papers to state that.


Living in separate rooms is not enough. You must live in separate residences to be separated.

The problem is if he does move out he may file for post separation support. You could be forced to pay part of his living expenses if you are the supporting spouse. You would have to pay these until the divorce which since you have not separated is now over a year away.

Unfair I know.


Attorneys can draw up things all day long. They don’t mean anything.

The only thing that means anything is a notarized separation agreement signed by both parties or a court order.


How can he file for post seperation support? He works just as I do. Makes almost as much. Was able to pay his own rent, bills, etc. prior to marrying me, so… I could do the same…


Yes, if he works and makes about the same it would be hard for him to get post separation support. Hard, but not impossible. There are no certainties.


The 20000 in your money market is your separate property. Your husband is not entitled to any of that money. You don


In light of these insane laws of N.C. I feel a need to protect myself so that my husband DOES NOT get half of ANYTHING that I contributed to. I have 20,000 in my money market that I had prior to marriage, as well as savings and retirement. Can I put all these monies in someone elses name such as my children? I will pull out my retirement and 401K before he gets a dime. Your law states that retirement is split 50/50. I have 50,000 in retirement which I have contributed most of which was before the marriage. So, according to N.C. law he gets 25,000… Then, lets see, he might have 5,000 towards retirement, which I would get 2,500… Hummm, doesn’t seem right does it? Well I don’t need his signature to take out any money, so I’ll take out EVERYTHING and place it with someone else… Works right?