I’m sorry to hear that you’re having such a hard time. I can certainly relate even though I’m not a man. Our situations are very similar with the exception of the genders.
My husband is doing the same things - taking control of all of the money, not keeping me informed of our debts (with the exception of ONE credit card in MY name, that HE’S used), dragging things out because he knows I don’t have any money, trying to “scare” me into signing the separation agreement and the BIG kicker - his affair. They say that “hind sight is 20/20” and I guess that’s the truth. So is the saying “you’re always the last to know”. My husband was seeing this woman WELL before he left. Heck, my oldest son knew (or should I say “suspected” - since he didn’t actually “see” them sleeping together. He did see her giving him massages and he says that’s when it dawned on him). My sister said SHE started wondering about it when he bought his motorcycle but that she put it out of her mind because she couldn’t believe that he’d do that – she thought he LOVED me…
I know that all of this hurts you – and even more so, makes you MAD. [:(!] It certainly makes me feel the same way. WE can only HOPE and PRAY that there’s some truth to that OTHER saying: “What goes around comes around”!!