My Husband I and I have been married for 9 years and moved to NC 2 years ago, we separated less than 2 months ago because I had enough of his Passive Aggressive disorder. We have no children.
Over the past 2 years, he has basically refused to get decent job and has taken mediocre jobs cooking even though he has had Chef positions in the past making a very good living. He has been happy living off of me, and actually calls his job a hobby! We have not been intimate for well over 1 ½ years because that was his way of punishing me for whatever reason (again part of the passive aggressive thing). When we met I had just finished putting myself through college (I was an adult student and a single mother of a 12 year old). Since then, I have worked my tail off trying to make something of my life and began earning a nice living. I work and average of 60-70 hours a week and travel a lot. My Husband works 37 hours a week.
He moved in with friends and his parents have footed the bill for his attorney. He has filed a motion for PSS and alimony. I earn $92,000 annually and he earns $25,000. He is requesting me to pay him $1,753.00 per month so he can continue to work his hobby job. Will a judge actually order something like this? There has been no misconduct of either of us. The problem is that I don’t have that kind of money. After I pay all of the household bills and my obligations, I am left with aprox $259.00 per week not including food, clothes or any other necessities. I can’t believe his attorney has filed such an amount without knowledge of our debt to income ratio. Is this common? I am afraid he is out to ruin me and force me into bankruptcy! I know that because he can prove that he is the dependant spouse and that the case against me meets the first four criteria for PSS. But what happens if I do not have the ability to pay? Will a judge actually consider this? I have an attorney who tells me we will have to wait to see what happens, and he cannot predict. Can you answer my questions? We have court date in Sept with Judge Sasser.
Based on your incomes, and the his recent work history in the last few years of the marriage, a judge may well order you to pay PSS as you are the supporting spouse, and he the dependant spouse. The judge may however, consider his earning ability and may impute income to him in the amount he is capable of earning if he were to make a good faith effort to secure employment consistent with his abilities.
A judge considers not only the reasonable needs of the dependant spouse, but also the supporting spouse’s ability to pay. If all of your expenses are reasonable and necessary the judge will not order an amount of alimony which will cause you to go into debt.
Thank you for such a quick response!
This has raised a couple of more questions.
My attorney has suggested that I begin sending him some sort of payment and that this will show good faith. However, I am not comfortable doing this given that I must keep $5,000.00 in the attorney’s trust at all times adn keep up my own bills and living expenses. I have already borrowed against my 401K to pay attorney fees. Should I try to send something to him?
If you legitimately cannot afford support I would not advise you to send anything.