I understand that there may be reasons that you want or have to move, but look at it from the other person’s point of view. You’re taking your son over half a country away from his father. This means no weekends with dad unless he has a teleportation machine, 3/4 of spring break would be eaten up just driving to see his son, and same goes for Christmas break. I assume you’re receiving child support, and now dad will have the additional expense of taking days off work, gas and/or a rental car, or airline tickets just to see his son. I can’t answer the “legality” of what you’re doing, but you need to consider the effect on your son. A child has the right to be part of BOTH parent’s lives, not just the one who has custody.
It sounds as though your ex doesn’t want to lose what time he has with his son. And don’t kid yourself, he will lose that time. He will lose any weeknights he now has and a lot of weekends. Hawkman is right with this. If you go through with this, you need to set up very liberal visitations and meet him half-way from now on. Don’t drive half the distance for 6 months and then decide that he can do all the driving from then on because you can’t afford it. It takes two parents to raise a child whether they are together or not. If you can’t work out a liberal arrangement for visitations and stick to it NO MATTER WHAT, then I would suggest that you take a look at who’s best interest you have in mind when you move your son. That’s just my opinion though.
Keep this in mind: From the home page of the web site.
After I file for divorce, do I have to continue to live in North Carolina?
As long as you have been a North Carolina resident for at least six months on the day you file your divorce complaint, it does not matter if you remain in this state until the divorce hearing. You might want to keep this fact in mind if you are planning to move soon to another state, because the residency requirement for divorce may be longer than another six months and that state may have a longer waiting period, such as three years, for no-fault divorces based on a period of separation. The statute also provides that “where both parties are residents of the State of North Carolina, and where the plaintiff removes from the State and ceases to be a resident, the action may be removed upon motion of the defendant, for trial or for any motion in the cause, either before or after judgment, to the county in which the defendant resides.”
Not knowing what type of custody you have, (joint legal custody, primary physical custody)I would say that the ex may have grounds for modification of the custody with you deciding to leave the state and have just now filed for divorce. He can refuse to sign the papers but that will not stop the divorce from becoming final, it will just be more frustrating for you. He has 30 days to contest, which I’m not exactly certain what that includes, other than maybe filing for ED if it wasn’t originally done. My husband’s ex never signed the papers either but 45 days later he still received a final absolute divorce decree. Good luck to you!
The judge will not make you stay anywhere. Nor can your estranged husband make you stay anywhere. Both of these individuals do, however, have input into what happens to your son.
Without knowing more about your particular situation, it’s hard to say how a judge might rule in your case. A lot of factors come into play. I hope that for your son’s sake, the judge does more than a superficial “what’s good for the custodial parent is good for the child” analysis. The interests of the custodial parent and the child do not always match up.
The judge might issue a conditional change of custody order, stating that if you leave, your son stays here and his father receives primary physical custody. Or the court might allow your son to relocate with you to Nevada. If you insist upon moving, your son’s custodial situation will have to change to accommodate the move.
If you are allowed to relocate your son from NC to NV, I believe you should be 100% responsible for any transportation costs associated with your son’s father exercising his “new” visitation rights. Your financial situation is irrelevant, in my opinion. I don’t care if you’re a billionaire or a pauper. Your son’s father did nothing to increase the dollar cost of his custodial periods with his son; you did. You need to accept full responsibility for your actions. I realize a judge will, in all likelihood, order that the transportation costs be split in some fashion. This is just another example of how the non-custodial parent is…er…“not treated fairly” in domestic court.
Just FYI: My husband may get our son once a month, 2 times if my son is lucky and we only live 10 minutes a part. I agree that he should be part of his life however he chooses not to do that. He had rather drink and smoke pot. He also chooses to have a job that requires him to travel for up to a week at a time. He also chooses not to take a job that makes the same amount of money but does not require traveling because he will have to pass a drug test. So before you jump on the HATE bandwagon ask questions, get facts and do not make assumptions.
He is only threatening me and attempting to control me as he has done the 13 years we were together. He got everything including our house that he has let go into foreclosure but still refuses to move out of, sell or give it back to me becuase I can make the payments. Not to mention the corporation we owed that he sold without my signature however I looked the other way and choose to be the bigger person and not fight over it. But yet I am the bad person. Yes by all means look at it from his point of view. I have totally railroaded him and taken everything. BTW he mentions moving out of state of a weekly basis. Poor him!
As far as keeping my son from his father I would never do that. We can always fly him back and forth. My husband has another daughter he does this with. He can see him any Holiday he chooses to as well as the summer. Oh wait what about the fact that he has promised him twice this month to pick him up for the weekend but has not. Don’t worry I am always here to comfort my son and tell him how his father just got busy with something important and could not get him. But that does not do much good when he calls his father who is at Hooters and then I have to be the one to wipe away the tears. But yet I am keeping him from his father?
Did I mention he has not paid any child support in the year and a half I have been gone and had our son. (Have a court date of Oct 6 to set CS) But ironically he managed to spend all the money he got for the sale our coporation that did 6.3 million in sales and let our house go into foreclosure in the past year. BTW never saw any of that money either. Anyway as far as splitting the cost for a plane ticket I can do that. I would be willing to draw up a new agreement as long as it was reasonable to both of us. I have not and will never keep my son from a relationship with his father but I can’t make his father see him. Meanwhile if I choose to persue opportunities in another state I should be allowed to do that as well as long as I consider our son.
Have a GREAT DAY!
I also have custody of my two boys. I have stood in front of a judge without an attorney, my x is over 15,000 behind on child support, drives with a suspended license with the children, I have moved over the summer to Florida and this was a verbal agreement with my x and I. He was in agreement and decided to make my life hell and subpoena me into court twice which has become four or five times. My children have been interviewed twice by a law guardian and that is not good enough, now the judge wants an interview on camera. Both my children want to be with me and have stated they want to move. I am now back in New York living in my parents house while all my belongings are in Florida. Trial now is set up and the judge set it up for November knowing I am displaced and could not fit us in sooner. So, tell me is it for the best interests of anyone to deal with the court system. I think the court system benefits no one but themselves. With all the legal fees I have paid out I could have gotten my x a condo in Florida and he could have visited the kids anytime he wanted. Tell me this all makes sense. You should be able to go to Nevada and let your x travel to see the kids and you can both meet eachother half way.
I have custody of my son. My husband and I did a parenting agreement that has been signed by a judge. We have been split up for about 1 and 1/2 years. I am considering moving to Nevada from NC in the next few weeks. I have filed papers for the divorce this week as well. He is telling me he will not sign the divorce papers unless I modify the parenting agreement to say that I will not leave NC.
He has also indicated that he will try to fight me and make me stay in NC because I have our son. What are the chances of him doing that. Is it likely that a judge would make me stay?
Someone please help.
Stacey