Is this the way custody and child support really happen?

There was a parenting agreement signed by my daughter and her son’s father (never married) thru a court mediator in Wake County.
In October 2010, the father filed (pro se) for a custody change. He wanted full custody. The parenting agreement let him have my grandson every other weekend. My daughter filed thru an attorney asking to move with her new husband out of state. The case was scheduled for hearing in Jan. 2011, April 2011, June 2011 and then finally heard the fourth time in October 2011. By the time they went to court in June 2011, he hired an attorney that normally doesn’t practice in Wake County. The judge allowed my daughter to move out of state and gave the father liberal visitation and I mean LIBERAL visitation. Even with that, the father has violated the custody order over and over. Even though the court hearing was in October, the order was not signed by the judge until June 2012…a FULL EIGHT MONTHS after the hearing, therefore it was unenforceable during those eight months. AND, when the order was returned, it is wrong. For instance because my daughter was allowed to move out of state, the judge said she could only have her own son for Christmas every third year and her first Christmas was to be in 2012. When the order was returned, it said her first Christmas was to be in 2013. That is one of several items that are not what the judge said in open court. The father has been hours late at the appointed meeting place which is 3 hours from both of their homes to return my grandson many times, has kept him for a 10 day period that was NOT his scheduled visitation, does not use family wizard but harrasses her by text message on her phone, did not allow her to speak to her son on Christmas last year and on and on.

After the order was signed, her attorney filed a show cause with 5 pages of violations from the original order. This was written up in June and we are still waiting for the judge to sign it so that a court date can be scheduled for this action. Her attorney told her he would order an audio of the hearing and then file for the order to be changed to what the judge actually said but she has heard nothing further. The way things have transpired so far, my daughter will be lucky to have the show cause heard next year much less hope the order can be corrected before Christmas which is supposed to be her Christmas.

This “father” has also not paid child support in 13 months. He is “self employed” as a contract salesman and knows the system well enough to just show the 1099’s that he wants to show and bs’s his way thru c/s court. At their last c/s hearing, in January he was supposed to be paying $400 per month but since the custody order from October had yet to be signed, he got them to reschedule the hearing until September (next month) and the c/s case worker actually told him that they wouldn’t come after him if he didn’t pay until then!

My daughter has paid $8,000 to attorneys and is pretty much tapped out. Is this REALLY how the custody and child support works in North Carolina?!?!?! My grandson’s father is verbally abusive towards her, disregards the parts of the custody order that he doesn’t like and gets away with violating the order. Frankly, with this guy, you can’t dot enough i’s and cross enough t’s, he just twists everything to try and make her life miserable. The order as it stands, even when corrected guarantees that she will have trouble with him constantly. She will have to go back to court again and again with “show causes”. If the judge doesn’t actually DO SOMETHING about it, it will just escalate.

Is there a way for a person to get their own audio copy of the custody hearing? Is this the way the “system” works?? Any suggestions?

Thank You in advance

Yes, a party or an attorney can get a copy of the recording by completing a transcript request form and getting it to the appropriate courtroom clerk.

Unfortunately, it sounds like your daughter has multiple issues that she needs help addressing and that she may very well need the assistance of a lawyer. She can look into using Rosen Online where she can ask questions and obtain forms. This is the more cost effective way of utilizing our services.