Joint Custody Issues


#1

I have a question regarding joint custody here in NC.

My ex husband and I have shared custody for the past 6 years and believe me its not been an easy rode with a man that fails to communicate effectively. Life has been hectic for myself considering I am a “single mother”. I was fortunate enough to have my grandmother whom actually raised me as a child to be my babysitter for 8.5 years of my sons life. She was a very great blessing as without her I wouldn’t be where I am today. Recently she just passed. Long story short. So, now its just me and my son and I have an easy going job that does there best to alternate my days off so I can be with my son. It seems that the father just keeps getting worse about communicating issues with me. Anything from taking the child out of a school and enrolling him in another (I find out from the child) to not telling me about Drs Appointments or Changing phone numbers. He expects me to be open but isn’t doing the same. On top of that, he doesn’t allow the child to call me so I could at least hear from my child or he will have the child for 5 days and on the last night my son will call ( I clearly ask the father to have the child call me after day 2 in emails but the father fails to respond). My sons father did get married about a year and half ago and now they have a new 3 month old. So, last week I went out and bought my son a cell phone in hopes that would lighten the tension of having to ask the father to get the child to call me. Now, my son claims that the father says phone contact with me can only be once a day and he can’t have his phone to play games or etc. With me, I put no limitations on calling his dad or dads mother. I feel that all children should be able to contact the other parent if they wish during a reasonable time frame unless its a family outing. I wasn’t raised by my birth mother or father so I know what it feels like to not be able to have your mom and your dad whom you come from to talk to everyday.

Am I overboard or being a bad parent as wanting to hear from my child when hes with his father.


#2

No, you are not going overboard or being a bad parent for wanting to hear from your child when he is with his father. A lot of parents feel this way. Reasonable telephone contact with the non-custodial parent is common. Usually “reasonable” means one phone call a few days a week to one time a day depending on the circumstances, and this is often addressed in court orders and separation agreements.