Reasonable communication


#1

Currently, my stbx and I have a TPA order in place and will be going to court for permanent custody in the next 45 days (still waiting on court date to be set). This is my issue… My son’s mother has primary physical custody temporarily; according to the court order, I am to have reasonable communicate/contact with our son. Before we went to court (back in September) and even after or TPA hearing, I called my son every single day that he was not with me. She goes for a while allowing us to talk every day before school or before bedtime (I have prearranged times she has approved for me to call daily) and then suddenly she got a new boyfriend and decided she didn’t have time to allow me and my son to talk everyday. Since then, her and her lawyer have insisted that I should only be allowed to talk to him twice a week and she should be able to talk to him every weekend that he is with me. I don’t have a problem w/ her calling him, however, she has NEVER attempted to contact him while he is in my custody. The first weekend I was granted visitation, I actually allowed my son to call her when he woke up and she requested that he not call because that is her time to be free. The past several weeks she has not stuck to her own schedule. I have always called my son everyday and will continue to do so. That way, he can’t ever say I didn’t want to be a part of his life, but it is her choice to allow him communication with me or not. Anyway, she hasn’t been sticking to her own schedule and this past week I was only allowed to talk to him once and it wasn’t even one of her “scheduled” days. My question is… What does the court consider reasonable communication? I don’t think it is unreasonable for a parent and child to talk once a day (Most of the time the conversations are only a couple of minutes b/c my son is only 2 but he is pretty advanced for his age in conversation skills.) and if the situation were reveresed I would want him to be able to talk to his mother every day. She and her family have stated to my own family members that they are just waiting and hoping for me to give up and walk away from this whole thing (everything they have done is personal not about our son at all) so I’m sure that is why she is refusing me communication with my son. Also, my son and I are very close and have been his entire life. When he was an infant, I was the one who cared for him; my wife never even wanted kids and said she didn’t understand my fascination and attachment to him several times. Anyway, didn’t mean to write a book, I am just wondering what the court considers reasonable communication w/ a parent/child and do I have enough to file contempt since she is barely allowing us to talk once a week at this point?

Thanks for your help!!!


#2

Also, (topi change) are there any reasonably priced private investigators out there? Every one I have been able to find are completely outrageous and I can’t afford it but I really need one to prove how much time my stbx is actually spending w/ our 2-yr old versus how much time she is spending w/ her boyfriend drinking and partying leaving our son w/ at home w/ her parents instead of caring for him herself. I have been doing some of my own investigative work (i.e. last night I drove out to her place after she had said our son was in bed so I couldn’t talk to him and she wasn’t even at home so I drove to her boyfriend’s house and her car was parked out front I took pictures of both homes) but I am not sure if the stuff I am doing is actually going to be acceptable as evidence in court or not since I have no idea what I am doing. I have almost a year’s worth of documentation and recently have started taking photos of things but I’m sure a PI would do a much better job than I can… Just need help finding a cheaper one…

Thanks again!


#3

It really depends on the facts of each case, and the age of the child. I have seen many cases in which reasonable telephone contact was determined to be once phone call per day.
Please dial our direct line, we may be able to give you a referral to a private detective in your area.