Joint Custody Modification


My ex and I have both lived in the same town all our lives. We have been legally separated for 5 years (just waiting on him to pay for the final details per agreement). He lives in his mom’s basement with his new baby and fiance (even though we are not legally divorced). My son is 7, and has just finished first grade. He and I both have severe allergies and I have arthritis as well. On a recent trip to the beach, I realized the climate there fixed all of that. I have been in counseling, per judges order, with my ex since August. We have gotten no where. The counselor keeps saying that he is not expected to take care of his son while living with his mother, that is just how men are. He does nothing at all but live in the same house. According to my lawyer, the judges in our town will not see a custody case unless a court counselor has suggested one parent over the other. Apparently expects very little of a man, but thinks that should have nothing to do with custody. I want my son back, I want to move somewhere that we are not allergic to everything!!! Any help will be appreciated!!


You need to file for divorce and child custody. 5 years separation is ridiculous. Since you are still legally married, each of you has the same rights to your child and no custody plan is in place apparently. The couselor is full of it. A parent is responsible for the child. Period. Find a lawyer somewhere or do it yourself. Get your divorce and try to get primary custody of your son! If you choose not to get a divorce, take your child and go wherever you want to. Sometimes it’s easier that way!


We have all the divorce things settled and in writing. We also have the custody agreement done. We did it first thing, 5 years ago. I have a lawyer who I have been working with for years, very competent. The problem is, I think she and I are both out of ideas here. The only reason the divorce is not final, is because that was his part to take care of. I paid for everything while we were married and since. All he has to come up with is about $250. I refuse to pay. He is engaged to the current girlfriend, bought a ring, dresses and tuxes. He’ll have to fork it over eventually.


if you want a divorce bad enough - come up with the money - he knows and everyone else knows what a jerk he is!

also, you might want to review the agreements you created 5 years ago - alot has changed for your son, etc.!

if you are looking to move you have to think about visitation too - who pays for getting your son to his father and back, etc…


Your best chance to move is to file a motion to modify custody based on a substantial change in circumstances, citing yours and your son’s allergies, and your ex’s current living arrangements.