Layoff, divorce, child



I got layoff (Dec 2008), I want divorce and I want my son 50%. My wife always tells me that I will not take 50% of my son. She always said that she is the mother!! She has a job.

What are my options? Can you please explain? What happened if I find a job in another state?


I doesn’t matter if she’s the mom…you have equal rights to your son. You may file for custody or joint custody. If you move from the state, it may be harder for your son to see both parents. You’ll have to consider that too. If you feel it’s in the best interest for your son to be with you, then file for full custody…but know that she can also file for full custody. She can also file to have you not take your son out of state.


Having a job does not matter in regards to custody. In fact, on occasion, it can help in that you have more time to spend with the child. But child support would be based on your previuos salary or the salary that you could be making. More courts support joint custody (50-50% with equal time) than in previous years.
comingclean2 is correct in that neither parent has more right to the child but primary custody can sometimes be affected by the age of the child and who has been the child’s primary caregiver to this point. If you have shared that task equally, then joint custody is the best option. But keep in mind that joint custody works only in cases where the parents live near each other and can communicate and agree on what is best for their children. If they can not discuss the issues about the child and come up with a solution that benefits the child the most, then joint custody usually will not work. Parents that are selfish, greedy, and put their own feelings about the other parent before the needs and feelings of the child…co-parenting does not work with this type of person.

You should review your situation, have a visitation schedule in place now that allows you equal time with your child, and try to remind your stbx that you still must raise the child together. Custody issues are occasionally decided by the schedule put into place while separated.


Though neither the mother nor the father is automatically entitled to primary custody of the child, the courts do give weight to evidence showing one parent or the other as traditionally had the role of primary caregiver.
You will need to file an action for custody of your son. Child custody is determined based on all factors which affect the best interests of the child. Being unemployed is not a factor that will keep you from gaining equal time with your child. In order to gain equal time with your child you will need to present your case to the court and show that it is in your son’s best interest that he maintain a relationship with you by spending equal time in your care.
If you do have plans to relocate your case will become more difficult. Most judges believe that it is in every child’s best interests to have a relationship with both parents (baring any abuse or other extreme circumstances). In the event you move it will be more difficult for the court to establish any sort of split schedule depending on the distance between your residence and your wife’s.
I suggest that you meet with an attorney to develop a strategy based on the specifics of your case.


I am sorry, I am aloh. Thank you for yours emails.

Well, I guess I need to find a job near by. I want 50% and end the married friendly, but I am sure that she doesn’t want that. When I told her that I want to separate, she always threat me that she is going to keep our son 100% and that she is the mother. I always want to have a child, and in the other hand she was again, before he born. I don’t want full custody, because I know that she love him too and I think the child needs both parents. I still want to have more children but she doesn’t and I think that is better not push, because our relationship is not good. We have a lot of difference. She doesn’t have a good relationship with her parents either. I think she is using the child so I don’t leave.


It sounds like she is using the child as leverage, which is unfortunate. Don’t give up, you are entitled to see your child, and she is not entitled to 100% of the time.


Sorry for take so long to answer but right now I am searching for a job.

Most of time when I don’t agree with her, she gets mad, yell and said bad word in from of the child. Now, she is taking some kind of medication for depression and anxiety that she controls herself better. I feel that I can not talk with her because if I said something that she doesn’t like she will get mad. Her parents are sick and we were staying in their house to take care them and her mother told me the same, that she doesn’t want to talk with her because you don’t know what is going to trigger her.

If we have 50% and 50% time with the child and I separate without a job, how the child support and alimony work (if she needs to pay me because I don’t have a job, I do NOT want money from her)?? I just want my time with my son. Now, if I separate and 5 month later find a job, how the child support and alimony work??


I cannot give you an amount of child support, however there is a calculator on this website that you can use to enter in your specific information to get an estimate.
If you do not want alimony, you do not have to make a claim for it. The courts do not automatically award alimony based on the parties’ incomes.


Hello Erin.

Sorry, I may ask the questions wrongly, but I am not asking how much. My questions is, who need to pay if I separate without a job?

And if I find I job later, how the child support and alimony work?? I guess if I make more than her, I pay her and if she make more that me she pay me (and again if she make more than me I do NOT want her money, I just want to know the process or the law)

Thank you


You will need to run the numbers in the child support calculator and include the income you receive from a new job.
If child support and alimony are set and then you obtain a new job, your spouse will have to make a motion to modify the support before it will be changed.
If you are not found to have been a supporting spouse during the marriage, there will be no alimony awarded presently, or in the future.