Leaving and taking the children


#1

Forgive me if this topic has been addressed before, but I looked and did not find it.

Here’s my situation. I want to divorce my husband, and I need to leave him obviously. I want to take my children (a girl, 7, and a boy, 2). My problem is I do not know how to go about this legally. My husband is not abusive physically, but he is controlling. He keeps track of my whereabouts and my time. He checks internet history and generally keeps tabs on me. I don’t know what kind of historical factors are needed to be known, but I guess it would be important to note that, while my husband is the legal father of my oldest, he is not the biological father. Since I can’t really meet with an attorney since he keeps track of me, I thought I would ask here, since I can delete browser history. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you.


#2

The way anyone chooses to leave his or her spouse is always dependent on the situation. Really, it amounts to whether you feel comfortable discussing the situation or if you feel you need to find a place to live and plan your move before or contemporaneously with telling your husband you are leaving. There may be consequences to leaving without discussion (for example abandonment can be used as a factor in equitable distribution or he may empty bank accounts and be emotionally hurt and therefore unreasonable). But, there are similar consequences to consider going the other route as well.


#3

I need to leave. There’s nothing left to discuss with him anymore. He knows that I want to leave, but he holds the children over my head. That’s why I need to know the proper legal channels I need to take so I can get my kids and myself out as soon as I can.


#4

It sounds like you need to have a consultation with an attorney to discuss your options and prepare to file for custody.