Legal Seperation (enforceable)


My wife approached me last week that she wanted a seperation. She said that she plans on moving out at the end of the month. I for one, do not want her to leave nor want a seperation but she wants to go and I have to respect her wishes. My son and I plan on living in the house till the lease is expired. (He is 18 now)
She said that she does not want alimony nor to take my military retirement, as long as we do not take advantage of one another. We briefly discussed that when the lease is over and I move into a different location that if I pay $500 toward her exsiting $650 a month debt in credit cards and in case of divorce that I take 80% of the debt which is today appx 27000 and pay off all the joint account debt that she will agree not to pursue either alimony or my military retirement. As far as property distribution we have estimated that she will take appx $15000 worth of property and I will take appx $6000 worth.
My question is that if the above is agreed to and signed can she if in the future, prior to a divorce say that she changed her mind and request alimony or part of my retirement. Next question, since the debt is in her name and we divorce how can the state or attorney help to seperate the 80% of debt.


First off, the distribution you have described is highly in her favor. Typically the marital estate (assets and debts) are split equally. In this case you are ending up with the majority of the debt and she is taking the majority of the assets. If you chose to allocate the property this way you may do so, but you should understand that you are entitled to more.
If you do execute a Separation Agreement, it must be signed before a notary public to be valid and in order to prevent her from seeking alimony or more of the property prior to divorce the agreement must contain paragraphs waiving and releasing those claims.
The state or an attorney cannot separate the debt. You would either need to refinance the debt into your name, or your wife will need to trust that you will continue to make the payments on the debts that are in her name.


Speaking to me wife, she and I have come to an agreement. Along with the above mentioned that I will pay the taxes owed this year. At this point I am not pursing the fact that she may have other reasons that she chose to leave abruptly. My only concern is to move foward take care of my son and help him. I know that one can write their own seperation but I prefer to have an attorney write the agreement so that there is no mistake and all terms, in case of divorce, is final. My question is now that all the terms are agreed upon and it’s only a matter of the attorney writing the agreement, How much would it typically cost?


Each lawyer has different schedules of fees. It’s hard to say how much it would cost. You should find a lawyer and schedule a consultation (priced usually at their normal hourly rate…anywhere between $75.00 to $300.00 depending). If you have an agreement drawn up with all the things you wish to cover, take that with you for him/her to read over. I am sure they will want to discuss anything that is unclear or if they believe unfair or too generous. At that time, you can ask what they think the fee would be to write up the agreement. Like I said before, some may have a set fee…some may ask for a retainer before doing any work for you. With the law business, nothing is truly standard. I’ve always had to pay a retainer after the intial consulation before any work was done.


I know there is the 1yr 1 day rule, but is there anyway that can be bypassed. We have our terms and now want it done. any advise will be helpful.


Nope. Nothing to bypass or speed up the one year, one day rule in NC.


Having an attorney look over the agreement would be a good idea. A lot can happen in a year, and you should not sign anything that you may later regret. You should reconsider every aspect of this separation agreement. As Erin mentioned, what you have posted is greatly in your stbx’s favor. I have seen people on here bound by agreements paying thousands out to an ex who is now living with someone else, leaving them unable to financially take care of themselves due to their determination to “get it over with”. It may be painful, uncomfortable and humiliating, but you really should take a second look at what you are agreeing to before you sign.
My brother in law paid a ridiculous amount (over 1/2 his income) to his ex every month for 5 years after their separation and divorce, plus gave her everything including the marital home. This is on top of paying for a home for himself and his two children from his first marriage and the every day costs of living. Just please be careful of what you agree to at this point. Your judgement is clouded by pain and confused by matters of the heart. Please do not let that ruin your future…


I now have an appointment with an attorney, all details were agreed upon between my wife and i. I know that since i retained the attorney that the attorney represents me and not my wife. she said she does not want one, my question is since she will not get an attorney to look over the seperation agreement can she later on if she changes her mind claim that an attorney did not look over it and that she did not what she was signing. Can this make the agreement null and void?


By chance, do you have an email in which you suggest to her that she should get an attorney to look after her? Did she reply in the negative? If so, I’d say that you’re absolutely covered if you keep the email.

Otherwise, for the most part, I’d say that you are secure if the agreement is signed by both parties and notarized. In essence, it’s a private contract between individuals at that point and as long as she doesn’t have a debilitating mental condition, she was of sound mind when she signed.


I have my credit cards, we have a joint and she has hers…What constitute marital debt?



Any debt, regardless of whose name it is in is marital so long as it was incurred during the marriage and for the benefit of the marriage. The courts interpret pretty much all purchases as “for the benefit of the marriage”, clothes, groceries, regular expenses ect.