Legal wife had baby by another man


#1

my wife and i have papers on our3 year old little girl and i both have shared custody of her. the wife and i live in separted places for over 5-6 years… i thought she wanted to get back together when we concived our now 3 yr. old but she wasn’t serious so we continued to live apart… we had a terrible falling out last year and she lied and tried to get our little girl by filing chumpped up charges and getting me locked up , but finally dropped the charges in court and we both agreed to forgive and move on…6 months past… now she has a baby … we still living apartand i’m still not sleeping with her either. and she contiuned to go to the doctor and stay in weeks at a time using my insurace card i told her i only wanted for the 3yr olds use not her and i haven’t so much as seen her naked in 4 years!!! and she has a 1 month old baby now…she told me today she has to put child surport on me because we still legally married and i am by law considered her new baby’s daddy… (ain’t this some shiggity)… i went to dss in kenansville to see if i could avoid the drama of going to court and wasting my time…again… but they were bent on taking it to court anyways it seems… i wanted to avoid further embarrassment and it seems te legal wife just doesn’t care any more and it sadens me continually but i guess what she does under her roof is her business … but what does the law says…
well i found this article online… ]1.[b] Illicit sexual behavior (meaning “acts of sexual or deviate sexual intercourse, deviate sexual acts, or sexual acts defined in G.S. 14-27.1(4), voluntarily engage in by a spouse with someone other than the other spouse”)…

so sense I’m going to have to go through the trouble of going to child support court and asking judge for a dna test… shouldn’t these two answer up for their deeds? i feel like i should be compensated for the misdeed by these two who didn’t think about getting a divorce from me before they planned on having a baby while we were still married…
advice/ council would you consider represent ing my case …
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#2

Normally a child born in wedlock is considered to be the child of the husband. Since you and your wife have been living apart for some length of time this presumption is more easily rebutted. You will need to prove that your are not the father in court to avoid the imposition of child support.

You must respond to any complaint your wife has filed and you will need to include a counterclaim for attorney’s fees. If the court finds that she is acting in bad faith by seeking support from someone she knows not to be the father, you should be awarded reimbursement for your attorney’s fees.

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#3

IF THAT’S THE CASE… THEN COULD I SUE THE GUY SHE HAD THE BABY BY… I HAVEN’T SEEN THE WOMEN NAKED IF OVER 4 YEARS AND EVEN SHE KNOWS IT S NOT MINES BUT DSS HERE IN DUPLIN COUNTY WANTS TO JUST EMBARRASS PEOPLE AND SOMETHING … SO I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO BE COMPENSATED FOR THE TIME I’M PROBALLY GOING TO BE WASTING TRAVELING UP THE THE KENANVILLE COURTHOUSE AGAIN FOR SOME MORE FOOLISHNESS… ITS HURTS WHEN YOU HAVE TO MISS A DAY OUT OF COLLEGE FOR THIS SORT OF FOOLISHNESS… I TRIED TO GO DOWN AND TALK TO THEM BUT THESE “HOGS” JUST THOUGHT IT JUST TO FUNNY "DUAL DADDIES AGAIN" AND APPARENTLY NEED SOME MORE DRAMA IN THE COURT ROOM… … I THOUGHT IT WAS AGAINST THE LAW TO HAVE A BABY BY ANOTHER MAN WHILE MARRIED IN NORTH CAROLINA… :confused:


#4

If you can prove that your wife’s affections for you were alienated by a third party you may have an action for alienation of affection against her paramour. You will need to prove that you had a marriage with genuine love and affection that was destroyed by the malicious acts of a third party.
You may also want to consider an action for criminal conversation against her paramour. This will require you to prove that this man had sex with your wife while you were still married.
There are several articles regarding these claims on the website that offer more information regarding these causes of action.
You are correct in saying that adultery is still illegal in North Carolina, however the crime has not been prosecuted in many, many years.


#5

Morpheus,

I am not an attorney, but I can relate to much of what you have experienced. Here is some additional information you may wish to consider on alienation of affection/criminal conversation.

These are called “heart-balm” torts and are not very popular among attorneys and judges. Many in the legal community are of the opinion that laws that seek to hold adulterers accountable for their crimes are outdated codes that aren’t up to snuff with the values of today’s society.

I say that is rubbish.

When a party enters into a marriage they are in essence forming a contract. When a third party engages in behaviors that result in one marriage partner defaulting on that contract then a crime has been committed. The dissolution of a family unit results in significant trauma that has a long term effect on the parties, their children, their parents, siblings and extended family members, the workplace, social contacts and to a degree, society as a whole. If a man sleeps with your wife and deprives you of the privileges entitled you by virtue of your marriage contract then you have the right under the law to sue the offending party.

If you can prove that a child born during your legal marriage is not yours biologically and a DNA test confirms that the alleged malefactor is the father, then your case for criminal conversation is sealed. Simply file your paperwork and plead your case within the applicable 3 year statute of limitations and you win.

For alienation of affection your job is a more difficult, but you can win that case as well if you are able to prove your case for criminal conversation.

Because of the protracted nature of this kind of lawsuit most attorneys will ask for excessively high retainer fees for both you and the man that slept with your wife. This is why I recommend filing your case pro se (self-representation). It is simply a matter of filing on time and with proper documentation. Just about anybody can file a case like this for under $200 in superior court. I’m not suggesting that this is a cakewalk for most layman, but I know many men who have done this on their own. Including me.

I’m confused about what Erin said. After referring you to AA/CC articles located on rosen she then wrote:

“You are correct in saying that adultery is still illegal in North Carolina, however the crime has not been prosecuted in many, many years.”

I disagree. While AA/CC cases are fewer in number than other types of cases, they are still happening here in NC. Here is an excerpt from one of those articles:

“Even in this decade, the trend of generosity has continued. In August of 2000, a Burke County judge awarded a devastated wife $86,250 for alienation of affection and $15,000 for criminal conversation, totaling $101,250. In May of 2001, in Richmond County, the jury answered the issues of alienation of affection and criminal conversation in favor of the scorned husband and awarded him compensatory damages of $50,000 plus punitive damages of $50,000. Another distraught husband, in Mecklenburg County, received an award of $1.4 million in May, 2001 comprised of $910,000 in compensatory damages and $500,000 in punitive damages.The jury found the doctor who had had an affair with this man’s wife liable for both alienation of affection and criminal conversation. After an appeal the original award of compensatory damages was reversed, the punitive damages award, however, was upheld. In 2007, a Cook County judge ordered a man to pay $4802 to a husband who was grieving the loss of his wife after an affair.”

If you want my opinion, I suggest that if civil negotitiation with your wife fails and she continues to come after you for financial support for a child that she claims is not yours you should either sue for primary custody of the child or sue for malicious prosecution. I also recommend that you sue the man for alienation of affection and criminal conversation. If you can’t afford an attorney, don’t expect to get any pro bono help with these types of cases. You’ll need to do this yourself.

But I’m giving you fair warning - this woman sounds dangerous. Watch out for potential accusations of abuse from her and efforts to get restraining orders against you. I normally suggest that you do everything that you can to “get along”, forgive and move on with your life - but a woman who would do the kinds of things that your wife is doing to you indicates that you aren’t dealing with a rational or sensible person who is capable of cooperation.

Good Luck.


#6

I apologize for the confusion. Adultery is a crime in North Carolina and has not been prosecuted in a great number of years. I was referring to the actual crime of adultery which is prosecuted by the state.
Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation are civil actions in which a wronged spouse pursues a third party for money damages. Despite the term “criminal” criminal conversation is in fact a civil action.