I am not an attorney, but I can relate to much of what you have experienced. Here is some additional information you may wish to consider on alienation of affection/criminal conversation.
These are called “heart-balm” torts and are not very popular among attorneys and judges. Many in the legal community are of the opinion that laws that seek to hold adulterers accountable for their crimes are outdated codes that aren’t up to snuff with the values of today’s society.
I say that is rubbish.
When a party enters into a marriage they are in essence forming a contract. When a third party engages in behaviors that result in one marriage partner defaulting on that contract then a crime has been committed. The dissolution of a family unit results in significant trauma that has a long term effect on the parties, their children, their parents, siblings and extended family members, the workplace, social contacts and to a degree, society as a whole. If a man sleeps with your wife and deprives you of the privileges entitled you by virtue of your marriage contract then you have the right under the law to sue the offending party.
If you can prove that a child born during your legal marriage is not yours biologically and a DNA test confirms that the alleged malefactor is the father, then your case for criminal conversation is sealed. Simply file your paperwork and plead your case within the applicable 3 year statute of limitations and you win.
For alienation of affection your job is a more difficult, but you can win that case as well if you are able to prove your case for criminal conversation.
Because of the protracted nature of this kind of lawsuit most attorneys will ask for excessively high retainer fees for both you and the man that slept with your wife. This is why I recommend filing your case pro se (self-representation). It is simply a matter of filing on time and with proper documentation. Just about anybody can file a case like this for under $200 in superior court. I’m not suggesting that this is a cakewalk for most layman, but I know many men who have done this on their own. Including me.
I’m confused about what Erin said. After referring you to AA/CC articles located on rosen she then wrote:
“You are correct in saying that adultery is still illegal in North Carolina, however the crime has not been prosecuted in many, many years.”
I disagree. While AA/CC cases are fewer in number than other types of cases, they are still happening here in NC. Here is an excerpt from one of those articles:
“Even in this decade, the trend of generosity has continued. In August of 2000, a Burke County judge awarded a devastated wife $86,250 for alienation of affection and $15,000 for criminal conversation, totaling $101,250. In May of 2001, in Richmond County, the jury answered the issues of alienation of affection and criminal conversation in favor of the scorned husband and awarded him compensatory damages of $50,000 plus punitive damages of $50,000. Another distraught husband, in Mecklenburg County, received an award of $1.4 million in May, 2001 comprised of $910,000 in compensatory damages and $500,000 in punitive damages.The jury found the doctor who had had an affair with this man’s wife liable for both alienation of affection and criminal conversation. After an appeal the original award of compensatory damages was reversed, the punitive damages award, however, was upheld. In 2007, a Cook County judge ordered a man to pay $4802 to a husband who was grieving the loss of his wife after an affair.”
If you want my opinion, I suggest that if civil negotitiation with your wife fails and she continues to come after you for financial support for a child that she claims is not yours you should either sue for primary custody of the child or sue for malicious prosecution. I also recommend that you sue the man for alienation of affection and criminal conversation. If you can’t afford an attorney, don’t expect to get any pro bono help with these types of cases. You’ll need to do this yourself.
But I’m giving you fair warning - this woman sounds dangerous. Watch out for potential accusations of abuse from her and efforts to get restraining orders against you. I normally suggest that you do everything that you can to “get along”, forgive and move on with your life - but a woman who would do the kinds of things that your wife is doing to you indicates that you aren’t dealing with a rational or sensible person who is capable of cooperation.