Letter from his attorney

I received a letter from an attorney stating (from my understanding) that the ex wants to sign over his parental rights to me and Husband presumably so he will not have to pay child support. It states “our law does not permit him to seek a termination of his parental rights and that only you may do so and that the decision to allow a termination is within the sole discretion of the Court”. It also states that the attorney “advised him that has the right to seek an order from the court holding me willful in contempt for violation of the visitations provisions of the Order”. HOWEVER, this is the part that upsets me most, ex “believes, at this time, that to do so might only stand in the way of his having a relationship sometime in the future with” Daughter. So, he wants to sign over his rights with hopes to get out of child support but wants a relationship with her in the future?

So, from MY understanding, I pay for him to sign his rights over and child support will cease or I am held in contempt with the possibility of paying for his attorney, fines and/or jail time?

I REFUSE to FORCE my 14yo daughter to go to a man’s nasty (He was supposedly hospitalized for a week due to bacterial pneumonia), mold and bug infested, run-down tin box that she accused of grabbing her breast (which was reported a little over a year ago the day after Daughter told me. It was investigated but the investigator said the ex did not intend to grab her breast with his full hand as he wrestled her without her consent), that has/had posters of a very young Britney Spears hanging on his wall, that FORCED her to watch the rape scene of the Halloween movie (yes, “FORCED”), implied to her that he should kill me, Husband and younger Son, amongst other issues.

He refused to pay half of a dental bill for Daughter about a year ago (he did finally pay) and I told him if he wanted Husband to pay for Daughter, then parental rights should be signed over. Last Thanksgiving he and Daughter got into an argument (about visitation) and the ex told Daughter to get me to get everything ready so he could sign his rights over. All because she did not want to be alone with him much less stay overnight with him. It’s been over a year since she has stayed overnight with him and she has visited for just a few hours at a time. I’ve left that choice to her. I will NOT FORCE her to be around a grown man, or anyone, that makes her that uncomfortable.

It is my job as her mother to protect her and I will protect her. Daughter does not want to vist the ex. After her allegations of sexual abuse, I stopped forcing her to visit him. Except for reporting the incident, no further legal action was taken. The last time ex attempted contact with her was three months ago on Christmas day but never asked for to speak with her or for her to call him. Before that was Thanksgiving. Before that he would call the day before the scheduled visit and ask if she was going to visit and she would refuse. This went on for several months.

I do not want to take from my family to hire an attorney for the THIRD time for custody issues. I do not want to pay for the ex to sign over his parental rights JUST for him to not pay child support. I can deal without the very little child support that is taken out of his check. I just don’t want any of it to have to come out of Husbands pocket (I am a SAHM) instead of ex’s. Husband will be happy to adopt her. She asked him if he would not only be her Daddy but her father as well. He told her that he would be proud to be her father.

So, I have a little less than 20 days for my attorney that I have not retained and don’t want to retain to contact his attorney so he can advise the ex “regarding the appropriate action he may wish to consider”. I will probably consult the attorney that handled the last custody issue.

I understand the attorney the ex retained does not know these details and that he is just doing his job. I think this letter may intend to intimidate me. I’m almost sure the ex does not have the funds to continue further actions; however a family member could be funding this for him.

Should I ignore the letter?
What should I do and how should I do it without paying an attorney no less than 3k, again?


If he’s as bad as you’ve represented and wants to sign over his rights then you should do everything in your power to make that happen.

Thank you. Could I request a TPR without an attorney or ask the Court for the ex to reimburse the fees. What are the possibilities that the Court would grant a TPR based on the information above and order he pay the fees?