Mediation Process

Hello!

My wife and I are looking to mediation to iron out a couple financial details of our upcoming divorce. We already have our finances (mostly) separated, as well as all of our physical possessions separated, and have been physically separated for nearly a year. We do not have kids or own property. The only things are are looking to discuss in mediation are a few months of post-divorce financial support as well as sharing our student loan payments (and what that will look like) moving forward.

How can we initiate the mediation process? Is this the most appropriate solution? What will that look like? What are the potential costs of it?

Thank you very much for your time!

Michael Pace

Yes, if you are unable to reach an agreement on your own for the remaining issues, then mediation would be the next best step. Many family law attorneys are also family law financial mediators.

You will both need to agree on a family law financial mediator in your area then call his or her office to schedule the mediation. You and your spouse would be in separate rooms (or separate virtual breakout rooms) and the mediator will go back and forth between the rooms until a settlement is reached.

You will need to check with each mediator for their hourly rate, which could be $150-300/hour. This is divided equally between the two spouses.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

Hi Anna,

Thank you very much for the quick reply!

I think that my spouse and I are actually in agreement as to how best to proceed, but she may a) either want to get the agreement in writing and b) get potential advice on the logistics of the agreement moving forward.

Would a written agreement need to he obtained by a lawyer?

Would a mediator be able to give logistical advice as to how we can best manage sharing debt post-divorce, or is that still something that we would have to figure out solely on our own?

Thank you!

Michael Pace

Apologies for the follow up email here — let me rephrase the initial question: would a written agreement of our financial terms moving forward be obtainable through the mediation process alone?

Thank you!

The written agreement (i.e. a separation agreement) can be completed and executed by both parties during the mediation, but the mediator cannot draft the agreement.

The mediator also cannot give any advice as his/her role is limited to the dispute resolution process.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

Hi Anna,

Thank you again for this information! You’ve been very helpful. My wife just had one more question, if you’re still open to providing further information:

In the situation in which we decide to split our student loan debt equally, she was curious as to if the courts/legal system would actually get involved with managing our loans so that they’re allocated to us equally. I didn’t think this would be the case – I expected us to have to manage the loans on our own, but just wanted to confirm that. There’s no way for the courts to “re-allocate” our own personal student loan debt, correct?

How I anticipated it actually occurring is that we would write up our own separation agreement detailing how we’re splitting the loans, and then present that document during the filing process. That agreement would then be legally binding, and if one of us doesn’t follow through, then the opposite party could legally act upon that. Am I thinking along the right lines, here?

Again, thank you SO much for your time.

Cheers,

Michael

You are correct in that the court will not reallocate any loans or debt. The parties must negotiate and agree on their own (or a judge will make the decision after a trial) on how to distribute the marital assets and debt and if that is not equal or equitable, then who will need to pay what from where to equalize the distribution. All of the marital assets and debts and balanced against each other.

If you’re executing a separation agreement, it is not filed in the courts or recorded at the register of deeds. It is a contract between Husband and Wife.

After one year of separation, you can file for absolute divorce, but nothing in regards to the separation agreement needs to be presented.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

Hi Anna,

Thank you, this is helpful. So in the instance that my wife is looking for a legal “safety net” in terms of us both ensuring that this student loan debt is split evenly once we lay out how it will be paid over the years, does a form of that exist beyond the “Contract between Husband and Wife"? Is the separation agreement legally binding and, if not, how do we make it so?

Or perhaps the filing for equitable distribution is simpler here?

Thank you!

To make sure marital debt is divided equally, you should make a spreadsheet that balances all of the marital assets and debts. The value of each asset or debt that each spouse is keeping goes in the corresponding Husband or Wife column. Then total the net value of all the assets and debts that each is keeping. Finding the difference between those net values and dividing in half will show how much one party needs to pay to the other to equalize the distribution so that each party is keeping half of the net marital estate.

A separation agreement is a binding and enforceable contract once it is signed by both spouses and both signatures are notarized.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.