Can't agree on Separation Terms

I have been married for 10.5 yrs and have a 5 yr old with husband. We cannot agree on separation terms, especially alimony and division of pension and 401k and I am the dependent spouse. I am being advised that the only step is Divorce from Bed and Board. Is this true? Certainly there are others ways to figure things out other than that. My priority is my child and I do not want to cause more harm by “forcing” my husband out of the house. (how things are being worded to me)

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Divorce from bed and board is the court action that you would need to file in order to force a physical separation. But this is not your only option.

If you do not want to start the litigation process just yet, many people find that mediation with a family financial mediator is very helpful. This will help you and your husband to reach an agreement, and therefore be able to actually separate, without needing to involve the courts.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

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The mediator isn’t the attorneys is it? We have been going back and forth between them and we just aren’t getting anywhere.

A mediator is what the court has you guys go through. They are an unbiased person that helps you get to some sort of agreement period at the end of the day unless you can leverage what you want you have to sacrifice perfection for compromise. Divorce is one of the easiest things in the world logically but everyone’s emotions and that’s the only reason it becomes chaotic.

A mediator will be a third party attorney who is neither your attorney nor your spouse’s attorney.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

I will try and go this route. Thank you so much for the advice!