If communicating with your ex has been an issue then his attorney is doing her job. If you really want to resolve this without going to court send a prposal to him in writing and if its beneficial to you and him I’m sure you will hear from him in writing. But it seems like hes ready to move on and you are trying to hold on.


Thank you for the reply, but my question was one of court procedures as they relate to madatory mediation for estates under $15,000. The question surrounding communication from the lawyer was aimed at ethical considerations and the lawyers role to represent her client, which is impossible to do if you are refusing to state your client’s wishes. I cannot give him what he does not ask for. Entering into negotiations is normally the first step in wrapping everything up so that both parties can move on. The individual who prolongs the process unnecessarily is usually the one hanging on. My questions were more geared toward a legal answer regarding court process and general attorney practice guidelines regarding an attoney’s communications with an unrepresented party. But thank you for trying, I appreciate the help.

Katherine Miller


Have you been served with papers to appear in court? I may be wrong but I had thought that mediation was mandatory…my husband and his ex had to postpone the court date since they did not have their mediation done.
Yes, the courts do prefer that you use mediation…

Anyway, his attorney will probably not return your calls because they legally can not speak with you. The attorney could respond to an agreement, but it would only be a response in the form of agreeing or disagreeing with part or all of the agreement. May be that he is having an agreement drawn up and the attorney is just taking time to get it done. You have one year before you can file for divorce so they don’t tend to rush these things. My husband and his ex split up in Nov. got the agreement signed in Dec. In April she tried to take him back to court to get the agreement voided and he filed for custody but we didn’t actually go to court until June. It took until October for the new agreement to be signed and the judge to sign off on it…
My suggestion is to document the attempts you have made to come to an agreement and then sit back and take care of yourself. You may need to file for child support once the child is born since there has been no attempts at coming to an agreed on amount, but that you can do at any point after the baby is born. Equitable distribution does not ever have to take place. If he doesn’t ask for anything…he doesn’t get anything.


In Wake County and many others, tf you file a lawsuit the court has mandatory mediation for custody issues through the court. The court may also require mediation for Equitable Distribution issues. Unfortunately, his attorney does not have to negotiate with you. Have you attempted to hire your own counsel?

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


My ex’s attny advised him to stop speaking to me on the date he moved out of the home. His lawyer dedicates 90% of her practice to litigation. It is my understanding that Judge’s prefer a couple to work out their situation instead of using the courts. I would like to mediate or come to an agreement, however, since I am unrepresented, his attorney will not respond to my letters or calls and neither will he. I am giving birth to his child on Feb. 1 and do not even know if he will show up. I have developed and sent a seperation agreement, no response to date. Do the courts allow me to file forcing him to try mediation or do we just litigate? Our estate is not worth over $6,000.00 net worth, this is hardly worth the time. Does anyone have any suggestions. His lawyer has only been practicing for 3 years, and seems pretty resolved to battle it in court, but I don’t want to fight, I just want to know what he wants and he can have it. Doesn’t she have an ethical obligation to try and negotiate with me?

Katherine Miller