I have sole custody of our two children. The ex has every other weekend visitation, a set child support amount, and an order to provide health/dental benefits (on paper), and a verbal that he can take the boys on Wednesday nights for an overnight if his schedule allows.
He is retiring from the military and moving to Nevada at the end of this month. He wants changes to the consent order. I told him since it was his move that he needed to do the research once we agreed on a few crucial changes. My bad. He told me tonight that in NC the law seems to like the NCP and that because he is moving more than 100 miles away, the 30 days each summer we previously talked about wasn’t good enough because the law, apparently, says that he is entitled to 45 days of extended visit. He also stated that for each month that he has the boys for seven or more consecutive days, I will be required to pay him back 1/2 the child support he pays me. [xx(]
Now, I’m not an ignorant person. I asked him earlier this evening to send me this link of new knowledge so that I could read it myself, but he has yet to send it to me. I’ve been all over the web looking for information to support what he is saying, and have not found anything as yet.
I KNOW that I should go and consult my divorce attorney, but because my current husband and I just maxxed out the credit cards last summer in a custody trial over my step-daughter (we won, thanks!) I am hesitant to contact the attorney. (I’m afraid we’d have to take out a third mortgage.)
He is now asking for 1/2 the transportation cost to get the boys flown out there starting next summer. I disagree. I feel that it is HIS choice to leave the state, and that I should not have to be financially responsible for him to see them. In the 3 years since our divorce he has not once gone above the absolute minimum required by our consent agreement. I’ve always been the one to stay home when they’re sick, or take off work to get them from school and take them to the doctor, etc, etc. NOW, all of a sudden, he wants to be Joe-Father. He is also hinting that I send him back the 1/2 child support for the 2-3 months that the kids will be with him 7 or more days in that 45 day period.
This also creates a situation, as my youngest attends daycare, both after school and all day during the summer. If I don’t pay for those six weeks he loses his slot…but it’s the support that helps defray the cost of the daycare…so if I have to pay 1/2 back to the ex, then I won’t be able to afford the daycare, and if he loses his slot, we’re fairly hosed, because he attends school in a rural area and his school bus only goes to that daycare after school. Hence the dilema.
So I guess my question is (and thank you for the vent space) how true is what he is saying regarding the payback of support and the whole “I owe him 45 days per summer” claim? He also states that he can let me know as late as 15 May that he wants them for his 45 days starting the day after the last day of school, which is only a couple weeks after the 15th of May.
Any thoughts, or should I suck it up, take out the 3rd mortgage and consult my attorney?