Greetings. Yes, you are entitled to get the money back from the moment she got the boyfriend (or at least the moment that you left). Immediately file an action for equitable distribution and divorce (if you have been separated for more than one year and one day). I personally would not roll over on the money - especially because the money could be a new car for you, funds for your children, a down payment on a house. Go for it.
Also, why would your lawyer tell you to let it go…I clearly do not know all the facts, but you may want to go and sit down for another consultation for a second opinion (or a third if you count my opinion). Best of luck.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.