Mother not following court order

Yes you can record conversations as long as one party knows that they are being recorded. These can be used in court as long as your attorney is willing to use them. Make sure that YOU are following the agreement even if she is not. If she shows up at your wife’s place of employment, have the supervisor as her to leave and if that does not stop, contact the authorities. Stalking and harassment are illegal…No Contact Order (Restraining order) but the issue with that is that most of the time, in this situation it only makes things worse…don’t provoke arguements and document, document, document.

With regards to the medical co-pays, I would ask her, in writing, to give you copies of the reciepts for medical expenses she has incurred. If she provides you with receipts, then you should pay them, until she provides you with receipts or you have some other proof, you are correct not to pay these expenses.

If both you and your ex live in the state of North Carolina, you can record your phone conversations as long as you are a party to those conversations and you know you are both physically within the state when you record a conversation.

You are doing a good thing by keeping a journal regarding your custody issues. You may be able to pursue a modification of custody if you can prove there has been a sustantial change in circumstances and the change is in your child’s best interest.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


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I have been through the court system with my child’s mother (we were not married) and really got screwed to say the least. I went from having my child four days every week for the past two years to one day a week and every other weekend. There were no negative circumstances involved with reduced custody…essentially my attorney told me that mothers always win. I am having an issue with the mother not letting me pick up my child when I am supposed to and then she won’t be there when I am supposed to drop her off. Also, our agreement states that if both parties agree, we can adjust the schedule for vacations. Well, she told me that I could have my child one weekend and then she “changed her mind” so I had to cancel my plans. She also lies about the child being sick and having to go to the doctor so that she can collect the co-pay that I am supposed to pay. I never pay because she never produces a receipt. The mother also makes harrassing phone calls and has acutally been to my new wife’s place of employment looking for her. She also admits to me openily that she is a lesbian and uses my child support money to go on weekend long partying trips. She also is only working part time and living with her mother. My wife and are keeping written records with times and dates of everything that happens because we want to go back to court for more custody. Is there anything else we can do? Can we record phone conversations? Thanks for your help.