Moving in


My wife and I have been separated for 8 months. I am still in the house and she has an apartment. The home is in both of our names and the mortgage is in my name alone. We have no property distribution agreement yet. I have a very close female friend who needs a place to live and I would like to have her move in with me. Can we do this? We spend a great deal of time together but currently do not have a sexual relationship. My ex has dated and been sexually active since our separation. What are the legal issues with this if we share a bedroom? What if she has her own separate bedroom?



I do not recommend that you move someone who may become a romantic partner into the home. North Carolina still recognizes adultery as a crime, and further, if you have an alimony obligation your new living situation may hurt you.

I normally advise folks to refrain from openly dating until a settlement agreement is reached regarding all issues. You would be surprised at how many cases I have seen in which a new love interest destroys the parties ability to negotiate amicably.


I can back up Erin’s comment about being able to negotiate amicably after one spouse begins dating…even if the other spouse already has. My husband and I met several months after his wife left him. She pushed him to get a separation agreement drawn up so that she could go out in public with her boyfriend. A month after the agreement was signed, we met and had our first date…she hit the roof when she found out he was seeing someone and promptly went to the home and began removing items she had origionally left. She even threatened to damage the home structure. He was forced to change the locks and contacted the police twice because I was there as a means of avoiding violence.
You would be amazed at how people respond to the situation. Your STBX may be alright with you having someone move in, or she may go balistic when she learns that you are “moving on” with your life as she has done. But my suggestion is to date if you want but take the next 4 months to get everything ready to file for divorce. Especially, with you being in the marital home and the home still having your STBX’s name on it. Once that is done, there is nothing illegal and your conscience is clear. Maybe she can stay with a friend or family member for a few months until your situation is finalized and that will also give you two more time to get to know one another and decide if you want to pursue a romantic relationship. Just my opinion though…