Mine was an interfaith marriage/divorce. I am the CP father with primary physical custody and I am Jewish. I have always had court ordered custody from 2006 to 2009 it was sole legal and physical. In 09 I moved from Va to NC ( Ex moved from Va to Nc in 2006) and ex got Va court to modify so I retained what is now termed" primary physical" and she has joint legal. I know in NC that joint legal is near meaningless unless terms are specific in the order. In our Va order
( which I registered in NC) there are no terms of what joint legal means, just say’s “joint legal custody”.
Here is the dilemma: ex has children EOW and two 2 week periods in summer duringh which she takes children to church ( which is fine, they should be able to share each parents heritage), but they are being primarily raised in a Jewish home, having attended Jewish pre school daily until graduating, actively enrolled in synagogue and services, attended the Jewish summer camp and members of the jewish community center.Ex has been to the school and synagogue and has had access to all records at each if she desired.
NOW- Ex won’t tell me what church she takes kids to , so I am denied access to any records. Ex now says she is going to have child Baptized. I texted her and spoke to her saying that I do NOT grant permission or agree. She says if the child wants it, she will allow it and says it is not my decision.
I tried to reason and say that since a child cannot be Bar or Bat Mitzvah until age 13, that we should respect each other and put off a decison on Baptism or Bat /Bar Mitzvah until the children are 13 ( now 5 & 81/2) but ex refuses and says she will allow baptism whether I like it or not, that she doesn’t care if they are being raised on a daily basis in a jewish home.
I think this is a total lack of cooperation and reasonableness that is not in the best interests of the children, will cause much awkwardness, confusion and stress.
I do not have money for attorney, what suggestions do you have?
Joint legal custody entitles parents to an equal voice in making decisions like this one. Obviously when no agreement can be reached you end up in a tough situation such as the one you are facing. You could file a motion for judicial assistance to seek the court’s aid in deciding this issue based on what it is the best interests of the children, however you may not get a court date in time. Further, while I cannot predict what a judge would do in any case, the facts of this case lead me to believe a judge may allow the baptism as the children are active in both faiths at this point.
The problem is that once baptized it is exclusionary and the child can no longer be or practise any other religion ?
My issue is not being active in both, it is doing anything ( goes for either ex or I) that is exclusionary.
So would I word it as a request for judicial assistance, and it not be a motion to modify from joint legal to sole legal ? Can you elaborate a bit please.
A motion for judicial assistance is not the same as a motion to modify custody… A motion for judicial assistance is asking the court to help decide this issue for you. A motion to modify custody cannot be filed unless there has been a substantial change in circumstances which warrant a change in the custodial arrangement. An example of a substantial change would be an out of state move on the part of one parties, a party developing substance abuse issues, etcetera.
You write a Motion, which contains what you are alleging and the relief you are seeking. You then file it with the court, serve it on your spouse, and contact the clerk’s office to get a court date.