Since you requested guidance about information and links to the law specifically, I wanted to point out the legal issues addressed by the facts your presented: Child custody (see also child support), spousal support, alimony and equitable distribution.
In addition to the wealth of information on the Rosen web site, you can go to www.findlaw.com and search for State Law and select NC. Then choose to browse the table of contents. Most of what you need is in Chapter 50 of the NC General Statutes.
About the marital residence, assuming you decide to make the purchase, this would be part of the financial settlement. If you could not afford to keep the home, your best route to dealing with this decision is to seek some cooperation by your spouse to agree to look at the big picture of your situation. All assets and debts and the needs of two households. Seeking a neutral financial person’s input would be very helpful. This may be all you need to do to get your spouse to see the reality of your financial decisions. Ultimately, when parties cannot decide what their settlement should be, they seek mediation, collaboration or if all else fails, a judge could decide for you.
I would strongly suggest that if you do end up separating that you seek a collaborative attorney to help you get through the process. If at all possible, guide your spouse to our web site about collaborative law. Families are able to move on much better and co-parenting is preserved for your child. Hope this helps.
Deborah M. Throm
Rosen Law Firm
1829 E. Franklin Street, Bldg. 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main voice
4101 Lake Boone Trail
Raleigh, NC 27607
919.787.6668 main voice
301 McCullough Drive
Charlotte, NC 28262
704.644.2531 ext. 100