My son is almost 3. He is very advanced by all accounts. He uses words like disrespectful, aggravated, disgusting, etc. We have a custody agreement that allows his Dad to have visits every other weekend and Wednesday for 2 hours. His Dad does not use the Wednesday visit b/c we are two hours away. My son and I live 30 min. south of Raleigh, N.C. and his Dad lives in Wilmington, N.C. I transport my son on Saturday, to Wilmington for his visit with his Dad. His Dad then brings him back to Cary on Sunday to spend the night with his parents before returning him to our home on Monday.
First of all, it seems unreasonable to ask that a 3 year old spend 2.5 hours in the car only to spend another 2.5 hours driving back only so his Dad doesn’t have to make the round-trip in one day. I make the round-trip. Would it be possible to ask that visits occur in Cary rather than having our child spend 5 hours on the road each weekend? He has to be up Saturday morning at 6 am in order to be in Wilmington by 10.
Second, my son tells me Tuesday night, before his Wednesday phone call from his Dad that he is “too sick to talk to Daddy.” The entire way to Wilmington he will ask, “Are you sure this is the weekend I have to go to Daddy’s house?” He doesn’t want to go to his home, never talks about him and typically when I ask about his weekend, he will change the topic or act as though he didn’t hear you. At what point will the court take into account my son’s wishes?
My major concern is that my son came home last night and said that, “Daddy had a sleepover with Megan.” I asked if he knew Megan and he said that she was “a stranger” and he did not know her. I asked where she slept and he said, “In Daddy’s bed with us.” My son has a room but rarely sleeps alone. I asked him to show me their sleeping arrangements and he pointed out that he was on the right, Daddy in the middle and Megan was on the left.
His Dad only sees him 4 days a month. Our son only spends the night at his home two nights a month. I am concerned that his Dad is having house guests over, that he has not previously introduced my son to, and they are sharing a bed with my soon to be three year old. I will add that the second time he had my son for a weekend visit, he inadvertently sent me a “booty call” text message asking if I wanted to come over for the night. Obviously I was not the intended target of that message.
Dad refused to put anything in our custody agreement regarding house guests. Do I have grounds to have that modified? It’s not that I am opposed to him having guests. He is a grown man and can make his own decisions. It concerns me that he can’t make my son a priority 4 days a month or have the courtesy to introduce our child to a girlfriend prior to her having a “sleepover.” In no way should my son be sharing a bed with this “stranger” who will likely be out of his life as quickly as she came into it. I would prefer that he not have guests unless they are engaged to be married. Any guidance you can offer will be appreciated. I have a call into my son’s father now hoping he can advise on how to answer our son’s question about “Why did Daddy have a sleepover?”