Over night guest


#1

I do wish parents would think of the children first in these situations instead of what they want.
First, it does mean any place, any house, any time. No overnight guests means no overnight guests, regardless of where that overnight occurs. (My husband’s ex did the same thing. She told the boys that her boyfriend slept in the car during their vacation, since she was asked about it in court. They told us they weren’t sure because he was in the house when they went to sleep and when they woke up so they never actually saw him in the car.)
Second, The lawyer can write a letter to her stating that the “boyfriend” is to find other sleeping arrangements if he is planning to go on vacation with them. This is adultery and while it is only a misdemeanor and rarely prosecuted, it is still illegal and could have an affect on all sorts of things. Let your attorney know that she is still planning this and see if he/she has any suggestions.
Third, this happens. Regardless that it is morally, legally or ethically wrong and possibly damages the children’s view of the adult, it happens. (Children are not stupid) If your son is telling you that it bothers him then he needs to tell his mother that too. He may not like it, very few children do when one parent moves on. But just because your stbx doesn’t see anything wrong with it does not mean that your son should be subjected to it prior to your legal divorce. It shows that your stbx has little regard for her son’s feelings and what he is going through. Remember, children go through divorces too. The difference is that they are not old enough to understand or deal with all the emotions that go along with parents separating and divorcing. Talk to your son. Do not talk badly about his mother but let him know that you are his father and are there for him regardless of what happens with you and her. No matter what he is feeling, he needs to be able to talk to one of you without concern of judgement or “getting in trouble”.


#2

Thank you very much. This has been a big thing for me to deal with. I don’t care that she is seeing a new person. I really have strong feelings about putting my son in this situation. I am doing the best I can by staying rational and being there for my son, but I am getting to the end of my rope. I hate to see him being crushed and put into this.


#3

I agree with your interpretation of the provision. If she violates it and goes on vacation, you can file a Motion and Order to show cause and ask the court to hold her in contempt.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

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Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

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#4

My wife and I have been sperated since Jan of this year. In the mean time around march she decided to start a relationship with one of our friends who is also seperated from his wife. For a short while he was living with her in the house and my son who is 7 expressed his concerns that he did not like it. I tried to talk to her(ex) about this and she has seen nothing wrong since they were all friends before hand. I just went to court last week for visitation, I have seen my son 4 times this summer as of yet. It was placed in the paper work that we both agreed upon that neither of us would have a person of the opposite sex stay over night while the child was in our care. I had this placed becuase I knew before the court date they plannned on going on vaction together. My lawyer said that this clause was in effect no matter where she went. Because it stated “While the child is in our care”. After a brief conversation with her last night, she still plans on going through with the vacation saying it only applies to her house. Not other peoples (Like her families) house. Anyone have any thoughts on this?