Overnight guest


#1

Unfortunately, there’s not a lot that can be done about this. That statement is in a lot of agreements. It was in my husband’s agreement with his ex. Her boyfriend moved in but we could never prove it. I think that the most that would happen if you did take this to court is that your ex would be breeching the contract. That’s an awful lot of money to spend not to get any more satisfaction than you would get.
The courts may reprimand your ex but the fact is, if there’s no true danger to your son by her or her son, it’s unlikely that they will do anything. I know this is frustrating and not what you want to hear but sometimes it just makes more sense to let things like this go and do what you can to set a better example for your child than your ex.


#2

To enforce your separation agreement you would need to file an action for breach of contract in civil court. When it comes to romantic partner provisions it is hard to determine what the court will do. The court will enforce the contract if it believes the terms are in the best interest of your child.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Sutton Station
5826 Fayetteville Rd. Suite 205
Durham, NC 27713
Phone: (919) 321-0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#3

Helen is right. You never know what the Court is going to do. In my case, nothing whatsoever. Remember. The Court really cares nothing about you or your child. It also has a lot to do with the “judge’s moral convictions”. If he is an “adulterer” like my judge, he sees nothing wrong with it. Good luck.


#4

I think that the point of the court thing with overnights is that this issue is so vague. Yes, you have it in the agreement and yes, he went against it. I guess my point it what POSITIVE thing would come about by dragging everyone into court? The offender would probably be told not to do it and get a slap on the wrist…and you would be out the money and time it took you to go to court.

My ex broke the rule several times. I didn’t agree with it, but I didn’t do anything legally. I told the ex I disagreed with it and I had a talk with my children about it. So you have to do what you think is right and a good use of time and energy. Some couples search to find any thing that’s a break against the agreement to create drama and assert control. Let’s get serious, do you think the court will throw someone in jail for having the girlfriend/boyfriend spend the night? Or do you think they’ll impose some fine or fee. It may happen in some cases, but I believe the courts see this infraction as insignificant in comparison to others (like not supporting kids, physical abuse, drug/alcohol abuse, negligence… )

I’m not trying to condone the act, I’m just trying to say that not all judges are ‘adulterers’ or have poor ‘moral convictions’. All you can do is raise your kids with YOUR moral convictions and love and support. Your child is young still. This woman may end up being his stepmother. The living arrangement may be a very stable and happy environment. The emotional damage possible is relevent to how you approach it and how you deal with it. All your child wants now is happiness and stability. As a 2 year old, that’s all he can grasp.


#5

This is now happening to a friend. The romantic clause is in their divorce agreement; she now has evidence from P.I. w/girl friend on a weeks vacation with her children and filed a motion to take him to court for violation of the order. He has countered with the same - the only exception is she/children stayed at good friends house where mother/husband/children all in stable homes and he is playing turn about is fair play. This is pathetic.

We guess the judge will have to decide does it matter that children are exposed to “romantic interest” or someone of “opposite sex other than family”.

Do judges take the words as written in agreement “no person of opposite sex” or will they see it as “romantic interest”?


#6

Thank you for all the post. I do believe my son is being psychological harmed by the situation. So in his best interest I need to do something. If anyone has any suggestion on how to prove it for the court it would be greatly appreciated!

I also need to find out if I have to use the same lawyers that created the separation papers?


#7

In order to prove your child has been harmed by an overnight guest of the opposite sex, you would probably have to have an expert opinion on this matter i.e. psychologist, psychiatrist. I do not see where it makes any difference concerning “romantic interest” or “overnight guest of opposite sex”! Since when is it ok to have a “romantic interest” spend the night as opposed to “overnight guest of opposite sex”??? One night stand vs. two night stand? Just from experience, I can tell you that you must have clear and convincing evidence that your child is being harmed. Otherwise, judges do not take this seriously and will do nothing! No. You do not have to have the same lawyer. They will all take your money.


#8

“Overnight guest of the opposite sex” is exactly what it means…no overnight guest of the opposite sex. Doesn’t matter if it’s a romantic interest or not. The courts will not interpret it so narrowly.

(Who is to say what constitutes “romantic interest” anyway? In an age where “hookups” are common and some people only use the word ‘sex’ as a synonym for intercourse only, rather than considering sex the whole spectrum of sexual gratification, one person’s “friend” is another person’s “romantic interest”.)

If both parties stay with non-family members of the opposite sex, then they have both violated the agreement…period.


#9

You do not need to use the same lawyer to go to court about the order as you did when you entered into the agreement. You can prove your child is being harmed by this behavior by entering evidence about any changes you have seen in your son since this started.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Sutton Station
5826 Fayetteville Rd. Suite 205
Durham, NC 27713
Phone: (919) 321-0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#10

The question I have in regards to this clause of “no overnight guest of opposite sex” is:

When you and your children stay with a “family” i.e., wife/husband/children; is this up for interpretation of the clause.

Our understanding of this clause was of a “single and/or romantic interest”. When you have evidence of the parent kissing another woman in front of your children and “X” counters your motion because you spent the night with a “family” would appear to be a different interpretation and vindictivness.

Thanks


#11

Just a note to those who question family members staying the night…one of blood or marriage is obviously allowed. “Romantic interest” is not specified but roommate or overnight guest is not allowed of the opposite sex.

Thanks Helena… By chance do you know of a serve that might be called “people connection” I think it is through the court system?


#12

No, I have not heard about people connection. Can you tell me more about it?

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Sutton Station
5826 Fayetteville Rd. Suite 205
Durham, NC 27713
Phone: (919) 321-0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#13

I have a separation agreement that states no roommate or overnight guest of the opposite sex while our son is in custody. I have gone to my ex’s and seen his girlfriend