Overnight guests

North Carolina Divorce Law Divorce and Separation Answers
1

My BF’s custofy order says " Neither party shall have overnight guests of the oppostite gender not related by blood or marriage when that party has custody of the child." Ok we get it, I can not spend the night at his house when his child is there. No problem.
The issue is that we have been together over a year and since the CO was signed haven’t traveled with the child. We took her several places before it was signed and either got separate rooms or stayed in a condo. His Ex went ballistic about it at the time but the temporary custody order said nothing about it and other than the sentence above in the “permanent” CO it makes no other reference to “overnights”.
My BF, and his child spent the night at my house 2 weeks ago. It’s a 4 bedroom house- each person had his /her own room. We got a letter from her lawyer within a week saying he was violating the order and any futher violations will result in him being sanctioned and paying the Ex’s attorney fees.

Is this true? I was not a guest. It was my house. We were not in the same bedroom. If this is a violation what can we do about vacations? My BF did ask his attorney about vacations before he signed this ( as during mediation the Ex wanted something written about her child not going any where with me- she has never met me - I didn’t meet my BF until long after they separated- it’s an not a “fact” based objection). His lawyer said " well there’s nothing in there about it so you should be fine."
Well, we see now that his attorney didn’t excel in a couple of areas and now we are confused as to what to do.

help please!
Thanks

2

The language of the Order is intended to prevent the parent overnighting with a romantic partner, whether its in his house or yours, separate rooms or not.
If ready strictly, this could prevent vacations as well, unless the two of you get married.

3

Thanks- I think the BF received poor advice as he wouldn’t have signed it if he understood those to be the terms. I am sure that she will object to vacations too. If we go on a vacation and he is summoned to court how likely is the judge to sanction him and make him pay her legal fees? We really want to be able to take the child places- something she really enjoys. We plan on marrying but would rather it be on our terms and timeframe.

4

One more quick question- if we marry can she come after my income for additional child support?

5

No, only the father’s income is included in the support calculation.

6

Thanks again-
So should we attempt a vacation ( separate rooms etc) or just get a new lawyer and try to have this CO modified?

7

A vacation together may lead to your boyfriend being held in contempt. In order to modify custody your boyfriend will have to show that there as been a substantial change in circumstances affecting the child. His relationship with you is not a reason which will allow for a modification.