Please help

My husband moved out of our home approximately 5 years ago. We have 3 children, 2 are under the age of 18 - the oldest lives with him. During the marriage he was emotionally, verbally, mentally and sometimes physically abusive to the children, myself and animals we had during the marriage. When the pysical abuse began to escalate I asked him to leave. Almost certain he had an affair, but I can’t prove it - we have both dated other people since we have been apart. I was a stay at home mom for our entire marriage. He wouldn’t allow me access to a car, friends, and told me that I couldn’t talk with my family (they live in another state). He often took all forms of ID away from me. He would get irate if any man looked at me in public - I learned to walk with my head down for years. I now work, but earn no income as of yet, my pay is purely commission. He is the only one on the mortgage, but we are both on the deed - the house was bought as a fixer upper, but he destroyed it more over time and it is falling down around my children and myself, I don’t feel like it’s safe to remain here anymore - hasn’t been for a long time. He was extremely controlling during the marriage, made many threats, financially deprived us, told me he had the phone tapped, house wired with hidden cameras, etc. My mother was scared to talk to me over the phone, even during the last month of her life. He often told me that if he could he would have a camera strapped to my head so he would know everything I saw and said and everything that was said to me.He was hospitalized and diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder - he was supposed to visit his doctor twice a week and take medication, but he only went one time and stopped taking his medication shortly after starting. Another doctor said my husband was a textbook case of someone with Narcisitic Personality Disorder. My children and I need to move out of this house, but I don’t have the money to do that yet. He completely alienated me from society for so many years and I am still struggling to get on my feet. He got his BS degree and earns a good salary, my parents helped him financially with some of his college expenses and he refused to pay them back - I never went to college. We’ve been married for 20 years. I want out…please help.

You need to file a court action to have your property divided and to establish child custody, child support, and spousal support, you may even make a claim to have your husband pay a portion of your attorney’s fees. I suggest you schedule a meeting with a lawyer to discuss your case in more detail (and confidentially). You should get the ball rolling as soon as possible.