Possible separation


#1

Be very careful. I am not an attorney but my understanding of the law is that North Carolina custody law defers to the child’s place of habitual residence for the past 6 months. So if she is gone for 6 month whatever state she goes to will have jurisdiction.

However, your daughter being 12 should have significant say in where she wants to live.

Be careful. My wife moved to Europe to “sort things” out and I found out the hard way that you can get really screwed if you don’t cover your ass and protect yourself and your rights.


#2

thanks for a response, and good luck with your child.

Anything I can do this side of a formal separation that will help me be careful about my rights as a parent with an out of state, supposedly temporary separation?


#3

I would just recommend: 1) staying involved with your daughter 2) being mindful of that 6 month treshold, 3) Seeking some counseling with your wife, and 4) being mindful of that 6 month threshold!


#4

You could be jeopardizing your rights to custody and/or to have NC decide child custody if your child remains out of state for an extended period of time.

Lisa M. Angel
Board Certified Family Law Specialist
The Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, NC 27607
(919) 781-1741 direct voice
(919) 256-1660 direct fax
(919) 787-6668 main voice
(919) 787-6361 main fax
NCdivorce.com
email: angel@rosen.com

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#5
quote:
[i]Originally posted by Lisa Angel[/i] [br]You could be jeopardizing your rights to custody and/or to have NC decide child custody if your child remains out of state for an extended period of time.

Lisa M. Angel
Board Certified Family Law Specialist
The Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, NC 27607
(919) 781-1741 direct voice
(919) 256-1660 direct fax
(919) 787-6668 main voice
(919) 787-6361 main fax
NCdivorce.com
email: angel@rosen.com

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


Thanks for the response. I guess I am just a little naive here. What can I do to get my daughter back in NC? I never gave permission for my wife to take my daughter, but haven’t yet firmly objected to her stay out of state. Do I need to firmly request she return my daughter? She hasn’t “officially” state she has separated, but she has been over 1 month with her parents. Seems to me she has abandoned her primary residence. My oldest daughter is still here with me (over 18). We’re both pretty frustrated at this course of action. Any advice?

Thanks in advance.


#6

Doesn’t look good in the sense that if she won’t send your daughter back you will have to file for custody, and since it sounds like your a decent person (judging by the fact you older daughter is still there) and the fact that your residence is still the child’s habitual residence you have a good shot. The problem is that that heightens tensions.

  1. Try to seek counseling with your wife, 2) Keep your daughter’s best interest at heart.

Personally it sounds like taking you daughter away was intended to be provocation, like she looking for a fight and reason to hate your guts. but then again that could just be me projecting my own experience. Proceed with caution but protect yourself. I’d give her every opportunity for counseling and play Mr. Nice for another month and the hit the courts and get your daughter back before it’s too late. Isn’t she in school and stuff? Hasn’t your wife just destroyed your daughters routine and friends?


#7
quote:
[i]Originally posted by tookmydaughter[/i] [br]Doesn't look good in the sense that if she won't send your daughter back you will have to file for custody, and since it sounds like your a decent person (judging by the fact you older daughter is still there) and the fact that your residence is still the child's habitual residence you have a good shot. The problem is that that heightens tensions.
  1. Try to seek counseling with your wife, 2) Keep your daughter’s best interest at heart.

Personally it sounds like taking you daughter away was intended to be provocation, like she looking for a fight and reason to hate your guts. but then again that could just be me projecting my own experience. Proceed with caution but protect yourself. I’d give her every opportunity for counseling and play Mr. Nice for another month and the hit the courts and get your daughter back before it’s too late. Isn’t she in school and stuff? Hasn’t your wife just destroyed your daughters routine and friends?


Thanks for your commments. My 18 year old daughter is quite put out with her Mom’s antics, and feels that her Mom is using her sister as a patsy to make her situation (walking out) look better. Yes, it has terribly disrupted my daughter’s routine, friends, etc, being out of state for so long.

My biggest concern at this point is that I may be subject to a geograpic disadvantage with regard to future visitation rights. I don’t know what “rights” I have as a father, but I sure don’t want to lose any rights just because I haven’t formally objected to my wife’s taking my daughter with her. I have given no just cause to her action. My 18 year old is happy to be at home with me. And I don’t think my younger daughter’s association with her mom is endangering her. I would even grant custody if I knew I wouldn’t be at a disadvantage geographically when it comes to visitation. This is just a strange and unfamiliar situation for me.

Thanks again for your comments.


#8

Just a simple question about my wife who has left our household residence.

Since she has left to go “be with her parents for a while to sort out things,” and is living out of state, and also has taken my 12 year old daughter with her, does this present a problem for me or my wife if actual separation does occur?

Am I jepordizing any of my rights as a parent if I do not object to such action?

Thanks in advance.