You should immediately change the locks to your apartment. He cannot just enter without your permission once he has left the marital residence. I don’t know if you can remove him from the lease. You should talk to whoever is in charge at your complex. Most likely, he will remain on the lease (unless your ex and the landlord both agree to release him) but you should change the locks to keep him from re-entering in the meantime.
If there is a high-level of animosity, then it is unlikely you will be able to have a collaborative divorce. This usually works best for couples who are amicable.
No. You must use two different attorneys, both of whom are trained in the same collaborative methodology.
I don’t know what you mean here. I can tell you that NC treats military retirement just like any other martial retirement asset, and will divide the retirement if doing so is necessary to effectuate an equitable distribution.
Alcohol abuse is unlikely to play a role in the divorce. It would be relevant for a divorce from bed and board action, but it’s unlikely you will need that in your situation. It could be relevant in custody also if you wished to have primary custody.