Greetings. First, we don’t normally reply to posts this long (simply due to time and fairness to our clients), but I will do so this once for you. My advice is for you to file for child support, post separation support, and alimony. Do so now, and let them start taking the child support out of his pay.
Tell him that you will go to marriage counseling with him and that he needs to go take parenting classes, but that you cannot live with him now because of social services and his behavior. Love does not mean “accepting of abuse.” Don’t feel bad for wanting to move on, but I would suggest that you do go through counseling and see if you can work it out.
Otherwise, hire an attorney and keep moving in your own direction. Best of luck.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney at Law
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 200
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607 NCDivorce.com
919-787-6668
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
My husband went to Iraq almost 9 months ago.After being there some time he started writing me letters telling me that (Because he could not get ahold of me one night at about 7 pm)He wanted me to get a separation,that I could move in with who ever I wanted to ,that when he got back he was going to divorce me and accusing of all kinds of things,mostly cheating on him.He also told his mother that I was cheating on him,not that he was upset because he could not reach me, so his family started calling me and emailing saying very nasty things to me,he told me that he only told them that he thought because he could not reach me as I had gotten a sitter and had gone to Walmart to buy diapers that he thought I was cheating…I was very hurt and went to see a chaplain with the letters he wrote.Then he decides that he is going to cut me off finncially,he told me by phone during the talk about his letters that he was going to put 200 dollars aside each month and then he started making a 2,500.00 alotment to a bank account,which messed up paying my own bills,his reasoning for this was there should have been 6,000.00 saved up,however he forgot that I was still paying his bills and my own as bills do not just stop while deployed as he assumed…and he assumed i was just spending.Well was going to work everthing out with him as I tried to understand what he must be going thru over there ect.I was also attending College and I have 3 childen of my own and he and I have a daughter who is now a year old.Well right as this was happening I was at my friends on a Saturday morning,I will refer to her as Shirly,I had gone there upset because of the letters and the money issue to talk to my best freind ,anyhow I was there and CPS shows up and take my kids form me,I had no idea why and was told nothing until ater they were taken,I called my sister to get my kids for me from the state.The state worker tells my sister that she could have the kids but that they were returning them to me immediately,that they had taken them because my son accused my husband of abusing him befor he left ,however he is overseas and not in immediate danger.So they are returned to me.Because of this and because of the abuse issue ,At the time I was living in housing on post.The caseworker when she returned the kids led me to feel that if my husband returned and was able to come back to the house then i would lose my kids,so I moved off post,and also because I could get the money I needed to care for my kids,Well right befor moving out of housing,he writes me email telling me to take my van he had gotten me at the beginning of the year back to the dealership,and calls his unit to have them take it back.Right befor this as he cut money I had gone and put my car he had taken over when he got the van for me ,back in my name.Well he wrote me an email telling me to take his car to the unit,so i let him know in no unceratian terms that his car which is realy not legal for me and 4 children was no longer his,and that he had a truck in lockup on post.
I went and spoke to Jagg and snt him a separation agreement,which when he got he wanted to change the date to the day he left,then he did not like the custody arrangements and i gave him joint custody,and he told me he mailed them back,however it has been 3 months and i still have not seen them in the mail and I mailed him a complete new set and he claimed to have never gotten it.This has been since November,also I told him I wanted him to start BAQ,he keeps saying he set it up but it did not go through because of this or that.
He also keeps writing me now that he is due to come back in 2 weks asking can he come home after talking to the state ect.He has made my life a living hell and I have been realy hurt by him.I was with him for 5 years.His unit knows what he did money wise to me and the kids and would say as long as he left money which was about 130 then 300 the 100 then 300 and so on that he could do what he wanted with his money.
Fact is this after all this I want to get on with my life and I realy think that that is the best thing i could do for me and my kids,the only thing that has haunted me is our daughter who i adore.Any advice you could give would be nice and if you could email even better .Thankyou.