Either option is fine, but you will want to make sure that you have a fully executed separation agreement in place prior to obtaining the absolute divorce. If the absolute divorce is granted then you are barred from asking the courts to equitably divide your property in the future should a problem arise in the execution of the separation agreement. You want to make sure that all of the marital property is distributed in a separation agreement or an equitable distribution court order prior to the absolute divorce being granted (or at least having an equitable distribution claim filed and pending prior to the absolute divorce being entered).
The details of the refinances and buyouts can be put in the separation agreement so that when this does happen, both parties will know what they are getting, what they need to do, etc. If the refinances happen prior to the absolute divorce, then you both may need to execute free trader agreements so that each of you can refinance without the other one needing to be added.
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