Record him and I would let him know I was recording him. If he feels you are threatened he will keep trying to antagonize you…If he knows he can’t threaten you because you are doing the same to him and keeping up with his wrong actions, it will most likely stop (at least that is the way it has always worked with my ex).
Judges will hear tape recordings if the information contained on the recordings is relevant, these conversations are admissible as evidence, whether you knew you were being taped or not. Many people think that recorded conversations are hearsay, and that they cannot be used in court. This is not the case when the conversation is made by a party opponent. The rules of evidence specifically exclude these statements from the category of inadmissible hearsay, so long as it is offered against the party speaking.
Your anger towards your ex can be considered relevant to custody in that your ex can use these calls to try and demonstrate that you have anger issues, or that you are alienating the children by arguing with him or saying derogatory things about him or to him while they are present. Emails are relevant in the same way.
You should expect that you will be confronted with this type of evidence in court, and you should be prepared to defend yourself by way of explanation. You may want to start recording his calls as well in order to demonstrate the animosity is not just on your part.
In the future you need to be mindful of your words and attitude. Limit your conversations and communicate only when necessary regarding the children.
Erin E. Clarey
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax
301 McCullough Drive
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 943.0044
5826 Fayetteville Rd. Suite 205
Durham, NC 27713
Phone: (919) 321-0780
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
My ex has the ability to record calls and has entrapped me several times with twisting my words and provoking anger. However he doesn’t record his threats or hostility. Can that be used against me? And how can my anger toward him have something to do with custody? Vice Versa. Also what level of validity do emails have in court in a custody case.
Also, I believe he has hired an investigator in the past and although I live a simple boring life it still scares me.
What should I expect of him because I know he will do everything in his power to bring be down per his words exactly?