Refi of home at the same time of the SA

my stbx says he wants to refi the home we live in at the same time theSA is done.so he can give me my portion of the equity. Do I a dependent spouse have to share in the cost to refi? and should this be done at the same time of the SA or should there be awaiting time?>

You do not have to share in the cost of the refinance. The refinance needs to occur after the date of separation, and execution of an agreement which specifically lists the terms or the refinance, and the payout.