Seperation/ jointly deeded home

My understanding is that a jointly deeded home , stays jointly deeded till divorce. Then the home can be deeded in which ever party wants the home.
but why can the home be refinanced by the one who wants the haome and the one who wants to live in the home, buy out the other, and the one who does not want the home remove their name prior to divorce.

The home remains jointly owned, even after divorce, but the type of ownership changes from tenants by the entirety (martial ownership with right of survivorship and other rights) to tenants in common (joint ownership with no right of survivorship). A tenant in common can petition to partition the land at any time and force a sale. Owning property as tenants in common still requires cooperation of the parties, or court intervention to change title.

Changing the ownership interest and liability by way of refinance should be done prior to divorce.

I think i understand but here is my delima.

My stbx and I jointly are on the deed ,. and loan. I am a dependent spouse. I will leave the home, he will stay in home
he wants to refi which is fine with me. he wanted me to sign the deed over to him at the time of refi which he wants to do at the time of seperation and give me my share of the equity in the home, all this prior to the 1yr and 1 day of sep, . is there benefit to me to do this and if so , what is the benefit?

Yes, this takes care of the joint ownership and is the correct process to effectuate the exchange. Make sure you have an understanding of how much of a payout you are entitled to, and do not sign over the deed until the closing when you receive a bank check (certified) for your fair share of the equity.

so what would be the pros/ cons NOT sign the deed over till 1 yr and 1 day (divorce ) , other than I do not get my share of the value of the home.?
and if it is done after the 1 day and 1 yr isnt it the value of the home at that time vs the value of the home as the time of seperation , or can it be either one which ever we agree on?
and which is the norm ( what do most couples do)?

There really is no con to taking care of the issue prior to divorce. If the two of you are in agreement there is no good reason to wait.

Property is valued as of the date of separation, plus or minus and passive increase or decrease in value (such as market forces). More than likely there will not be a marked change in value in the course of one year.