Refinance and remarriage

I have a question in regards to refinances and remarriages. I am engaged to someone from Illinois (recently moved here). He has been divorced for years, but his ex wife has yet to refinance their home, even though it was in the agreement to do so. His attorney sent her a letter recently requiring her to complete this (it was supposed to have been done years ago), but she can’t currently qualify (she has bad spending habits), as she has too much debt and too little income. He’s given her all he can financially, and just needs to shut the door on this so that he is not hurt anymore financially. She says she is trying to find someone to borrow money from, but we don’t know how long that might take. I realize she can be taken back to court, but it won’t help her refinance, as she is broke, and her home is worth less than she paid for it.

My question pertains to my side of things. We would like to legally marry soon, so that his high school aged kids can visit us under the same roof (also part of his agreement). Currently he flies back there to see them. However, I’m concerned about personally assuming liability for her possible financial problems if we marry. If she defaults on the mortgage, for example, can a bank come after my assets, if he and I are married? I don’t want to lose my own home due to her debt, in a worse case scenario (he currently doesn’t have enough assets to worry about). But I do want to marry him, and don’t want to force her out of her home in this process (I think a court would require her to sell at this point, but her home isn’t worth the loan value). I don’t know how much liability I’d be opening myself up to. I already went through my own divorce, and have complete closure. Any advice is appreciated.


A bank can only go after the person(s) listed on the mortgage note. You shouldn’t be directly affected by a foreclosure on their marital home.