Greetings. It sounds to me like you have a very specific situation and you are asking questions which require substantial research. Therefore I will only answer about representation, and tell you to consult with an immigration attorney for the other questions. I think you meant defendant (not dependent).
The Defendant may represent himself through sending a written Answer, making a personal appearance, or hiring an attorney. We often represent clients from other states and some from foreign countries who cannot be here for all hearings. Best of luck.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.