Greetings. Since your post is so long, the answers will be brief and succint (shorter posts get longer answers):
Yes, she can prevent your return if you move out.
No, you do not forfeit all rights to property held within the house upon leaving.
You should not have this relationship until you have a signed separation agreement. Stop the relationship until all issues are settled. You are an adult and can do this. Adultery is still a crime in NC.
Yes, adultery is an issue if you are the supporting spouse and she is expecting to receive alimony from you (or if you are the dependent spouse).
I don’t konw about your alimony liability, as determining a number would take a one on one consultation.
What is you do decide to relocate and live outside of NC with another woman during your separation? What is the question.
People get over anger by looking at the financial situation they are in and making decisions in their best interests.
Your course of action is to retain an attorney and start negotiating now, before you make a large mistake that cannot be fixed with negotiating.
Hope that helps.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney at Law
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.