In NC you have to live separately a year before applying for Divorce. Our current house is in both of our names and we pay half of every single expense including mortgage. I asked my husband to move out as I wanted to make it least impact full for my kids who are 5 and 3 years old. I am even ready to pay half his rent in addition to everything else but he refused. He said let’s sell this house and get half of the portion and move on with our lives which is okay by me but we can’t sell the house until we move out as it needs some paint and other smaller improvements.
I am looking for places to rent in the same school district for the time being so my kids routine doesn’t mess up and I don’t have saved up money to buy my own place at the moment. If I move out to a rental will it be considered abandonment even if I keep paying half the mortgage of the house? Everywhere I have read about it says never leave your house as it will be considered abandonment but how will the separation period start if one of us doesn’t leave the current lodging? My husband is refusing to leave so I have to leave with the kids but I don’t want to create problems in the next steps of this long ordeal.
It is fine for you to move out into your own home, especially if the separation is mutually agreed upon between you and your husband. It is not abandonment if you are both agreeing to the separation.
Abandonment only occurs when one spouse moves out of the marital residence without justification, without consent of the other spouse, and without the intent of renewing the cohabitation. A spouse is justified in leaving if that spouse cannot continue the marital relationship with health, safety, and self-respect.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
Hi Anna-
I’m new to the forum and couldn’t figure out how to create a brand new topic, sorry! So I’m trying to post it here, here goes.
My wife is an alcoholic who continues to drink, has had multiple affairs (which I can’t prove), and is the financial provider at present. We have three children under the age of 10. She told me over a year ago she wanted a divorce. She wants me to move out. I have done nothing wrong nor have any acts of marital misconduct. We are STILL both living in the marital home. She will not move out and continues to demand I move out, and verbally abuses me to try and force me to abandon. My questions are:
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Without notice she habitually spends the night elsewhere, likely with other men, but I’m not always sure. She never says she’s coming home but she eventually does. Can any of these instances be considered abandoning the home and may I change the locks the next time she does it?
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If the answer is no, I think I need to leave. This is a very toxic environment and is hurting my children. Can I leave without it being considered abandonment and if so how? I know logically it would be great to have a written agreement but she refuses to do that, or really anything productive. Even though she’s the one who wants a divorce she isn’t willing to collaborate on any type of separation agreement.
Thanks in advance for any help to the above. I looked into a DVPO but in NC she has to threaten physical violence which she hasn’t done. Just a lot of verbal abuse.
Drake
You cannot change the locks to the marital residence unless there has been a separation. If she is gone for the night but coming back, that is not a separation.
This is also not abandonment because she returns home and presumably is continuing to pay the household expenses.
You can hire a private investigator to follow her around to see where she is and who she is with when she is gone like that. If she is the supporting spouse and you are the dependent spouse, this can strengthen your claim for alimony.
You can move out at any time. There does not have to be a written agreement in place first. You would need to notify her that you are moving out and initiating a separation. You will also want to have temporary custody and temporary support in place when you move out or shortly thereafter.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.