You or your agent (your dad) can pick up the car since the car belongs to you. Understand that the car is marital property is the equity may be divided (although a new car that is financed generally has little, if any, equity) so you may owe her a few dollars if she pushes on the property distribution issue. Finally, I am only licensed in North Carolina and have no idea what the New York law may be on taking the car so I would suggest that you run the issue by a New York lawyer before sending your dad up there to pick up the car. I would hate to find out that he had violated some criminal law in New York. Good luck.
Lee S. Rosen
Board Certified Family Law Specialist
The Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 200
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.