Several ?s - savings, support, eq. dist


My husband was having an affair for several months at the beginning of 2011. He moved out mid-May and we are now past one year of separation. Even though I wanted to work on the marriage and he sometimes “said” he did, his actions have shown otherwise. He used on-line dating, had another “relationship,” and posted and responded to casual encounters ads on craigslist (but says he didn’t meet up with anyone).
We are looking to begin the divorce process. I am meeting with a lawyer for a consultation this week. We’ll likely do a lot on our own as I don’t see him being disagreeable about splitting things up and spousal support. We’ve been married just about 3 years. We have a house (technically only in his name), no kids.
My questions:

  • When we separated, we split the money in our savings. I still have all mine and he blew thru his (plus racked up several thousand $s in credit card debt). Is the money in my savings going to be held against me? Should I take it out now?

  • I make $20K and he makes $53K. He’d been giving me $350 a month for spousal support. However, that was not including me having to pay mortgage, health insurance, or phone (which I will need to pay after divorce). How much can I reasonably expect a support payment to be after divorce? Our expenses would be pretty similar. (I tried using the on-line calculator and it wasn’t giving a sensible answer).

  • He’s told me several times he will split the house 50/50 with me (well, whatever is left after paying off the mortgage). Is that “equitable?”

  • Do you need to have property / support figured out before one of us can file for support?



*not an attorney, but usually its 1/3 to 1/2 the length of the marriage. It was unclear if you where together for 2yrs and separated for 1yr or 3yr/1yr. Either way in a short marriage he probably close to satisfying what is typical already.


Assets were fixed on the DOS, so the fact he spent his 1/2 the savings is irrelevant.

I’d need to see your financial affidavits to talk about a reasonable amount of alimony.

Splitting the net proceeds from sale of the house, assuming the entire house is marital, is normal.

You need to settle equitable distribution and alimony before judgment of divorce is entered.


Thanks so much for your answers!