Single woman/married man


#1

Dear abc123:

Greetings. First, please make sure to read through our cites information on alienation of affection and criminal conversation. Now, to your questions:

  1. Sleeping in a separate room of the same house would not be considered a legal separation. He could file a Divorce from Bed and Board while living with her, if she in fact has committed some marital fault. Otherwise, he needs to draft up and have her sign a separation agreement and then move out.

  2. I would consider it inappropriate, and maybe an “affair.” The bottom line is that you need to determine if your actions will be actionable by someone else under alienation of affection and criminal conversation. Best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorce.com
919-787-6668

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#2

Hope I’m doing this right to ask another related question. First, thank you SO much for this service - it is VERY helpful!

2 Questions:

  1. If what the man has told me is true (hasn’t been intimate with his wife for 2 years, and saw a lawyer before we met), doesn’t this make it unlikely that his wife could sue me for A of A since the marriage was already “alienated” before I met him?
  2. Is there any update on legislation to remove these laws from the NC books? (Would it help to write my representatives?)

Thanks!


#3

Dear abc123:

Greetings. I would love to tell you what you want to hear, but come on now. If you are dating a man who is lying to his wife by cheating on you, and you call him as a witness in an alienation of affection trial, do you think the jury will believe anything he says? He is not a credible witness. He could also be lying to you, since he has not left her. Let me tell you that when people want to leave their spouse, they do it!

No, there is no update on removing the legislation. I have no idea if a letter writing campaign would help abolish these laws. Best of luck…and my hopes that you will make a good decision about this relationship.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorce.com
919-787-6668

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#4

I’m not an attorney, but my suggestion would be:

  • I agree with Janet. How do you know he’s not lying? Most cheating men are. It’s pretty standard for cheating men to say they have a bad home life and a bad marriage - that gives them the excuse to cheat.
  • Have you talked to the wife? If she screams, cries, and is in shock after finding out about you, chances are, Michele, that this is very unexpected. And if you hear the kid screaming and crying in the background, too, after finding out this information, get out of the picture!
  • Find out the reason why he is not sleeping in the same room with her. Maybe you should ask the wife. He might be rejecting her due to his feelings for YOU. He might just be staying in that room so he can log on to the internet and talk to you late at night and early in the morning. Therefore, Michele, yes he would definitely be alienating his wife for you.
  • Telling a man that he “must have a legal separation” before you will see him again is encouraging him to leave his wife! You will definitely get sued! Don’t be stupid! Don’t make those kinds of suggestions! For all you know, this couple might be doing just fine as far as their marriage is concerned! He might be having a nervous breakdown! If the wife says he is, believe her. Don’t believe a word this guy says!
  • If he shows up at your house saying his wife kicked him out, check into it! Don’t just be an idiot and let him stay in your house. He could be MISSING, and maybe nobody knows where he is!
  • LAST BUT NOT LEAST, if you tell the wife that you never want to speak to him again and you continue to talk to him for hours on end, you’ll end up getting sued. Period. And when you do get sued, I would suggest telling your attorney the truth, instead of lying in your interrogatories and in your deposition and saying that all you were trying to do was “help” the marriage because you are such a Christian.
    Good Luck, Michele!

#5

I am a single woman who has met a married man. He tells me that him and his wife have not been “intimate” for 2 years and that he intends to get a divorce. We have only met in person once. After that, I told him that he must have a legal separation before we see each other again. He is very concerned about his 13 year old son, who is very emotional about the thought of his dad leaving. He also has financial concerns. I have two questions: 1) if, due to financial strains, he needed to stay in the house, but sleeps in a separate room - could he still file for a legal separation? 2) if we are still in contact via the internet while he is still legally married, is it considered in court as “having an affair”? I have never been involved with a married man before and am VERY concerned about the consequences. Appreciate your help!