Wife has a new man

You and she are still married. Without an agreement that allows an overnight guest, she is breaking the law. You must have proof, however. From the way it appears, it is ok to “date” during a separation, but no hanky panky should be going on. If she is eligible for alimony and you have concrete evidence that she is “cheating”, then this could bar her from receiving alimony. You may have a case for criminal conversation, but since a third party was not responsible for the demise of your marriage, you cannot sue for alienation of affection. A of A can only be charged if the “boyfriend” caused the love and affection between a married couple and contributed to the break down of the marriage. These kinds of suits are expensive and usually do not make it to Court

Lostinspace is correct in what she says about the laws of AA/CC, except for one thing. Alimony can only be lost if she is the dependent spouse and she was caught with her boyfriend before or on the date of separation.

BTW, there is no such thing in this state as a legal separation, there’s is simply a 12-month living apart clause before being allowed to divorce.

I’m sorry you are hurting, and I feel that you never wanted the separation or divorce, but it appears that your STBX does and is choosing to move on. It has been nearly 12 months now, and while you will mourn the demise of your marriage for a long time, does lashing out at a third party or trying to control your wife’s life make the hurt go away? I can guarantee you that if you pursue this lawsuit, not only will you not get your wife back, but you may estrange her to the point where you will have no relationship with her whatsoever and spend several thousands of dollars to do so.

Having someone you love leave you is devastating, especially if you don’t really understand why, but ultimately, as much as it sucks, you cannot force someone to come back if they choose to leave. You can only control yourself and your own actions.

Are you asking if there is any claim you can pursue against her because she is dating someone?

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
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Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
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My wife and I separated Jan. 1, 2008; about six months later she is dating a new guy. Last week I saw her and the new boyfriend at the grocery store shopping together. Today, driving to work (I have to go past her house on the way to work) I saw the boyfriend’s truck in the driveway around 7 in the morning. We had a descent marriage, no fighting, no cheating, just got in a rut and had some compatibility issues. Is there some sort of legal or moral law being broken here? Can she have a new guy within 6 months of separation (not legal separation)? Should I contact an attorney and bring this up when we file for a divorce? I’ve never been a “I sue you” kind of guy, but these actions really hurt and cause even more unwanted grief.