So...remain alone until divorce is final?


#1

Hey jacsval
I know what you mean the system stinks but this is how it works but if you are or can get alimony then you need to wait if not then you can start to date. You can date but no sex only with the spouse you can. Yes it is a crime from what I heard the DA is not going to send you jail for this not when has other more important cases on his list. What is most important is what you feel its over great if you want to back great.
I know its over with mine and I am very happy to say this she had an affair plus other things and its over once a cheat always a cheat and a cheat is a loser and no one can prove or tell me different if you do not want this person then leave get the divorce.
To start dating right after you sperate hmmmm may want to look into that alittle just dont rush myself I am taking my time just want this drama to end is taking way to long over a year now I know there is a great woman out there for me and we will meet and have a great life together and I just can not wait for this to happen[:D].
Bye for now


#2

Hey Arthur

Thanks for responding.

No I don’t want or need alimony. I am more than capable of taking care of myself and my kids. I’ve been wanting to leave for years and I finally did a few months back. After that is where I found a love interest. My ex knows about him and doesn’t care, therefore, I find it ridiculous that one cannot date in NC for one year or until the divorce is final. The feeling is very mutual that it is over with me and my ex-husband. We will have a non contested divorce, but have to wait a year here in NC, don’t even get me started on waiting a year…LOL!

Jacsval


#3

As far as I know, you are allowed to date during the separation time. The only trouble I can see is if your ex will try to use it against you in court, for example saying that you were cheating on him prior to separation. Don’t have your new love interest move in with you or anything, just date and hang out. There is no law about spending time with someone. Adultry is a crime in most states, but people usually don’t get in trouble for it unless it is used against them to gain alimony, custody, etc. Just because you are seeing someone new doesn’t mean you have to jump into bed with him right away or if you do, it can be discreet.


#4
quote:
[i]Originally posted by nwkltl[/i] [br]As far as I know, you are allowed to date during the separation time. The only trouble I can see is if your ex will try to use it against you in court, for example saying that you were cheating on him prior to separation. Don't have your new love interest move in with you or anything, just date and hang out. There is no law about spending time with someone. Adultry is a crime in most states, but people usually don't get in trouble for it unless it is used against them to gain alimony, custody, etc. Just because you are seeing someone new doesn't mean you have to jump into bed with him right away or if you do, it can be discreet.

See and that makes sense. I don’t want to live with anyone right now. I like being alone, except when I have my kids. Sure I am lonely for companionship, but good things come to those who wait. Discreet is the key word here. No proof of anything. I know my ex won’t cause any problems for me.

If I am not mistaken NC is a NO ALIMONY state, meaning that you don’t have to pay alimony. As long as he pays for stuff the kids need when I can’t cover it, I am not going to cause problems for him.

Jacsval


#5

Do you have any separation papers yet. You can state in your separation papers that you and your stbx husband are considered single regarding such thing as new purchases, bills and even dating starting with the date the separation began.


#6
quote:
[i]Originally posted by tiredofit[/i] [br]Do you have any separation papers yet. You can state in your separation papers that you and your stbx husband are considered single regarding such thing as new purchases, bills and even dating starting with the date the separation began.

No I don’t have separation papers yet, but that is a great idea, as long as it is in writing…Hmmm…

Jacsval


#7

Hey jacsval
I will say this if your new love stays over the night this will be very bad if the children are home with you but still you are still legally married its stink but thats the law unless one thing lie about the separtion date. You say you do not have the agrrement wrote up yet? Be very careful on how you write it up I wrote mine up and things where cool until the nice person got a bug up her butt because to many people gave her bad info she was told that the woman always gets the children well not in this case. I had it our agrrement that we had 50/50 no CS no alimony. Well here we are over $5000.00 plus having to wait and we are the same 50/50 no CS no alimony but one thing can happen I may get alimony[:)] hard to think it that a man can get it LOL.
Also and I was not going to do this but now I am suing her lover that she had the affair with AOA CC I soon will be going to med and maybe settle out of court doubt it but who knows I think its a waste of time take the loser to court and get as much money as I can from him not just for me but my children yes they have seen him before we serarated and this has hurt my daughter very much she has no respect for her mother and this hurts to here that. My duaghter said to one day “and to think daddy you where going to take her back there is no way I would ever take her back” this is the words of a 13 year old wow time has changed.
Get the papers done they have a seperation form here just look it will show you how and what to do I used it where I messed up[:(] is where I put keep wife on medical insurance never had a date when she will be off but in the state of NC once you are divorced the ex spouse must come off the insurance now its up to the judge to look at what he thinks we are saying that once divorced she is off they are saying no all in wording and who is reading it but what is the law?
Make sure you put all little things in ED is one in mine it was all done when she walked out she took all of what she wanted and I gave 45 days more to come and go as she pleases and she did take a lot thats fine my stuff too but I do not care she is out and now she can never come back one thing is good she did leave alot more then I thought LOL in time this will all be done.
Long I know but I hope you are careful on what you do what is said now will change later trust me its happened to me as you see
Bye for now


#8

No, new love does NOT stay the night and if he did I would certainly not have him there when my kids are there until the divorce is finalized, that is just plain irreponsible.

I will look into a separation agreement, I have a really great book I am reading with all the blank papers needed. I am starting to have a support group of friends who have been through a divorce here in NC, so that will help.

Jacsval


#9

If you look on the home page of the web site under “Absolute Divorce FAQS” and “Alienation of Affection” you will find the following passages:
The “no fault” divorce statute in North Carolina provides that “marriages may be dissolved and the parties thereto divorced from the bonds of matrimony on the application of either party, if and when the husband and wife have lived separate and apart for one year, and the plaintiff or defendant in the suit for divorce has resided in the State for a period of six months.” Remember that you can get an absolute divorce whether or not you and your spouse have resolved any of the other issues arising from your separation, such as custody, spousal and child support, or distribution of property.

What are the grounds for absolute divorce in North Carolina?
There are only two grounds for divorce in North Carolina. The first is a one-year separation. You must assert, under oath, that you and your spouse have been living separate and apart for one year. It is not enough to assert that you have lived in separate bedrooms, or that you have not engaged in acts of sexual intercourse. You must live in separate residences during that year. You do not need to file any papers to document the beginning of your separation; your assertion is sufficient to prove that the year has elapsed. The second ground for divorce in North Carolina is incurable insanity. However, this is rarely used.

Conduct after date of separation
The date of separation is an important date in alienation of affection and criminal conversation cases. Our courts have decided that conduct that occurs before the date of separation is relevant to these types of actions. This is because a claim of alienation of affection must prove that, among other things, the defendant


#10
quote:
[i]Originally posted by ARTHURP[/i] [br] Well here we are over $5000.

I think I saw this “here” somewhere in this forum before… I’ll go check and edit this post in a minute

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#11

date the person you want, eventually you are getting divorced. morally yyou know you are not committing adultery, so dont bother abt those stupid laws, coz you have to lvie your life.


#12

I agree completely. And I follow that advice. I am actually living with someone right now. I don’t believe it is adultry because my wife is doing the same exact thing. She met her bf in a club where she was working and has been with him (mostly behind my back while we were together)since before I left. She doesn’t care about those adultry laws because according to her, it isn’t a law in her country. I think that if a foreign person marries an american citizen that they should fall under those laws…Guess she doesn’t think that way. I do it because I have found someone that I fell in love with and can plan to spend the rest of my life with, unfortunately it isn’t my wife who I also felt that way for when I was young and blind (Only 21 at the time, she was 24)and in an earlier post to this situation it was stated that love is blind and can make you do some dumb things(like spend $1500 in a single day on her only to make yourself go into debt oweing your bank all that money).


#13

So if one spouse is separated, they can’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend until the divorce is final? Adultery IS a crime in NC?? I don’t understand why in this day and age that adultery is a crime if both spouses want a divorce?