Dating


#1

Dear Is it over yet:

Greetings. First, in order to waive the right to litigate over alienation of affection, you must include a third party waiver in your separation agreement.

Now, yes, you can date, but you cannot have sex with another person until you are divorced, as that is adultery and a crime in North Carolina, regardless of what your separation agreement says. You cannot waive your responsibilities for crimes in your separation agreement, as the District Attorney is not a party to your separation agreement and can still file charges against you for adultery.

Also, if you begin to date someone shortly after the date of separation, evidence of this relationship may be able to relate back to prior to the date of separation, and you may then have fault for alimony purposes. The general rule is that it is better to wait to date! “Wait to date” - best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorce.com
919-787-6668

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#2

Regarding dating, sex and adultery during separation prior to divorce–
What would possess a DA to want to file charges of adultery? It would seem to be a terrible waste of resources. What are the penalties and how often does something like this happen?

What is required for the DA to prove adultery?


#3

Dear inline:

Greetings. I have not heard of a DA filing adultery charges, but I do not follow all the local criminal charges either. You need to consult with a criminal attorney on the elements and punishment for the crime of adultery. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorce.com
919-787-6668

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#4

Ok - so it would be better to wait to date, which I understand for many reasons, however, I’ve read online about North Carolina divorces taking from 1 month to 1 year…if both parties knows it’s over and all property has been disbursed, can the divorce be moved up?


#5

Dear Is it over yet:

Greetings. Divorce in North Carolina is based on one year of separation. So, even if the parties have no issues and may never reconcile, there is no way to obtain a divorce in North Carolina prior to the parties’ being separated for one year. Best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
RosenDivorce.com
919-787-6668

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


#6
  1. Regarding obtaining a divorce prior to one year of actual separation, I had friends in NC that actually did this. Unfortunately in doing so, they had to perjure themselves by telling the court that they had been separated for a year when they, in fact, had been separated only 1 month. So if you hear that it is possible, it is not! You should never perjure yourself! Don’t perjure yourself. Even if you are foolish enough to perjure yourself to do this, there’s no way you should trust your ex-to-be not to reveal the perjury at some later date, although in doing so, they would also be in trouble–some people do stupid things when seeking vengeance.

  2. I can speak from direct experience on waiting a year–it is a good thing to do. It allowed me to accept things before the filing. Although it may seem like a hassle to have to wait so long, it is the law, and was certainly a long enough time for things to cool off before the actual divorce.


#7

Good morning. I’ve read many things on this website regarding not dating during separation. However, in our separation agreement it states: “That the parties shall continue to live separate and apart from each other in the same manner and to the same extent as though they had never been married. That neither party will molest the other or compel or seek to compel the other party to cohabit or dwell with him or her by any proceedings for restoration of the marital rights or otherwise and neither party will engage in any unwanted communication. Each party shall be free from interference, authority and control by the other party as fully as if he or she were sole and unmarried; and each conduct, carry on or engage in any employment, business or trade which to him or to her shall see advisable for his or her own sole and separate use and benefit without and free from any control, restraint, or interference by the other party, in all respects as if each were unmarried.” - OK - I’m sure you’ve heard all that before, many times, but with everything that was just said doesn’t that say that each party can conduct themselves as if they weren’t married? If so, does that make it where alienation of affection could not apply? I’m just a little confused because I thought if you are legally separated, you are free to date. Thanks for your time.