Spouse leaving town to meet paramour - abandonment?


#1

My spouse has had an internet/phone affair for several months and there is no sign of reconciliation for us. If spouse leaves state (we have discussed the marriage is over if spouse goes) to “connsumate” this affair, do I have the right to change the locks on the home (joint tenancy) and pack belongings for spouse to pick up at an arranged time? If I can, should I file any divorce papers prior to changing locks/packing belongings? Although I prefer an immediate divorce based on adultery, I have read your responses and see the point in finalizing the divorce after the home is sold or if agreed, deed home to me as sole owner and refi when possible without any future equity going to ex. Thank you for the opportunity to post on your forum; it is greatly appreciated.


#2

You may not change the locks on the home unless and until your spouse unequivocally states their intention to move out and live elsewhere. North Carolina does not have a claim for divorce based on adultery, and you must live separate and apart for one year prior to filing for divorce.


#3

Thank you for your reply. Just a follow up question - do have the right to insist that she move out or must we come to a formal separation agreement? If she does this, I just want to have her leave the home legally and quickly as possible.


#4

You cannot force her to leave the home on your own. If she refuses to agree to move out you may file for a divorce from bed and board, which is a claim for a court ordered separation. A judge can order that she move out based on adultery.