I am beside myself at this point I have cried over this more than I care to. For the past 7 months or so it seems my step daughter goes home every weekend and reports back to her mother what goes on each and every moment in our house. Although I have nothing to hide I am a very private person and my home has always been my safe place to be able to be me and not have to have my guard up in any way. About 7 months ago the child went home and told her mother that me & my mother were sitting at my dining room table talking about her mother and we said bad things about her. She said I said her new stepfather was a liar and things of this sort. The case was that I told my mother that the exwife and I had a brief argument because she likes to call and scream at me about my husband on the phone and she told me her stepfather told her that he could buy a 2001+ jaguar for 20,000 and I said I didn’t know if that were true. Unfortunately it caused a huge argument between the stepfather and I on the phone for 45 minutes and apparently she goes home and tells them everything I say and do in my house and when she is with me.
So to try to make a long story shorter we used to have the child from Wednesday night to Sunday night for visitation. Recently the older child smashed the younger child in the head with a can of Off and sent her to the ER. The is the second time the younger child has been injured badly enough to go to the ER in the past 6 months by the older child. Well someone called social services on them and she thinks my husband did it which he didn’t so since the divorce papers say our visitation is only Friday to Sunday she is now making us adhere to that even though we have been taking her from Wednesday to Sunday for over a year.
Right after the head smashing incident the child’s mother purchased her two children (only one of which is my husband’s child the 10 year old) cell phones. You know to reward them for their behavior. The children are 10 & 12. I do not feel a 10 year old needs a cell phone so in my house she is not permitted to use the cell phone. The mother has always said whatever rules we have in our house the child is to adhere to and whatever rules she has at home the child has to adhere to there. Well when she tried to reach the child Friday night and Saturday morning on her cell phone only to discover it was off she called my husband at work. During this converasation she advised him that the child told her I have a gun in my car (this is true and legal) which upset her because one of her co-workers shot his son in the head by accident with a shotgun. He advised her I have the safety on and it is unloaded and it is not anywhere the child can get it. she advised him that she feels we are closed minded because I do not like cheerleaders and the child was afraid to tell me she wanted to be a cheearleader (even though I have made it perfectly clear that we support her in anything she wants to do within reason whether we agree with it or not - hey I have a child who has piercings all over her face, I don;t agree with it but she is 18 and it does not change the way I feel about her) she told him the child said I have a donkey ringer on my cell phone when the mother calls me(I’m pleading the 5th on this one) and that my husband sleeps till noon on sundays (not true). This is all very upsetting to me that the mother even knew all this stuff and this is only the tip of the iceberg. We tried to ask the child how her mother knew that and she said “I don’t want to talk about it.”
I don’t know what I am supposed to do these are not the only things the mother has called and said. She is now telling him she thinks since he works on Saturdays during the day that maybe he should pick up the child on Saturday after work so she doesnt have to be with me all day Saturday. I am not perfect in all this and sometimes I probably slip and say things I shouldn’t but again I am just not accustomed to having to not speak my mind in my house. But I also feel like I should not have to answer to this woman for what I do and it’s always me she attacks never my husband. It’s always Janine said this Janine did that Janine did this. When does it stop. My poor husband is so upset over how upset I am and that this child is like reporting back to her mother that he wants to practically cut off all visitation and that is wrong too.
I really have been very good to her since the first time I met her. I did not meet her until my husband and I had been together for 9 months because I just thought it was wrong to involve a young child in the relationship until we knew where it was going. When I first met her her mother was having financial problems because she had to quit her job because she was sleeping with her boss. I bought the child all her winter clothes, boots and new coat and sent them home with her then I bought her all new summer clothes and bathing suits. We took her to Florida and SeaWorld for her birthday and we did everything we could to help her. We watched the child for her when she was working and she was off of school and whenever she needed us. She has since remarried and now since she doesnt need us to help her she has been a hateful towards me.
I guess I just needed to vent because I don’t know what to do.