Technical question re Alienation of Affection action

My ex has had numerous extramarital relationships during the time we’ve been married. There are two which might merit an A of A action as the individuals are successful and appear scandal adverse.

In one case I do not know the name of the individual but I do know of at least two particular dates my wife traveled with him/to him. Is this information subject to discovery (my exes calendar pages, credit card receipts, whereabouts, etc.)

In the other case, in which I feel both a strong financial and legal basis for this action exist, I know where the individual works but not where he lives. Can he be served at work? He is a corporate officer of a large corporation in the State of Illinois.


I posted the above questions and then forgot my log on and re-registered. I have additional questions:

  1. There was a gap of two years before I found out about one of the relationships at issue. During that two year period, my wife had at least one additional relationship which I did find out about in real time and about which I forgave her. Does this forgiveness on my part invalidate a claim against the prior relationship? The relationship for which I forgave her was a one night stand and she confessed. She has never confessed about the first one at issue here and I found out just recently. Nor has she confessed about a more recent, currently ongoing relationship that I would like to take action against as well.

  2. I understand there is a three year statute of limitations. What starts the clock? The alienation or the discovery? Something else?

  3. If I take an action against the paramour, I assume I have a right to discovery. Can I move for discovery of both my wife and the paramour? Can I use that discovery to “fish” for info about the later relationship that I’m certain exists but of which I have fewer details?

  4. If I have a credible witness who can provide quotes from my wife about her feelings for this man and what she said he asked of her, plus I have phone records and emails and perhaps proof of constant communication during that period, and assuming I can prove it, is that an adequate case?

  5. In the past I handled an emotionally charged case pro se and did well. I’d like to work this one as well. During the prior case I had access to other case docs. I believe I went to the court house and photo-copied them. I was able to model my docs after these and I learned as I went along. Is it possible to get sample docs in cases like this?

  6. Is there an attorney guide to cases such as these or civil cases more generally that I might have access to? Either to buy or online?

  7. If a client approached you regarding a defense of a A of A case AND HE HAD INDEED BEEN INVOLVED WITH THE PLAINTIFF’S WIFE and he worked for a very large, multi-national, conservative, scandal adverse company and made around $400,000 or so, what would you advise him to do and how much would you estimate the legal fees to trial?


To sustain an action for alienation of affection you must show that love and affection existed between you and your spouse, and that actions of the 3rd party alienated that love and affection. You also have a jurisdiction problem if they live in another state. You have to show some connection to NC for NC to obtain jurisdiction. Finding out who they are may prove difficult. You could try to get those records through the alimony, equitable distribution, etc. process with your wife.

Regarding the jurisdiction question, the affair took place while the paramour was living in North Carolina. However, he is an Australian citizen and is now living there. I had thought he had moved to Chicago.

Does the fact that he lives and is a citizen of a foreign country spoil the case?

You have to connect his actions to alienate your wife to NC. The fact she lives here isn’t enough.

I will have no problem connecting the alienation to North Carolina. He was living on Glenwood Ave. at the time and worked on Six Forks Rd.

The issue is NOW he is living in a foreign country and is a citizen of that foreign country. I am asking about the issue of a North Carolina court compelling a foreign national who does not now live in North Carolina. I know his address in the foreign country. Can he be served the Summons? I suspect he has no assets in the US. Can a judgement be enforced? Is it even valid?