If I had to pay that much, I’d do something about the visitation. That’s just me though, I care about my kids.
Wow. Not really my place to judge, but morally, I would take the time to think about this before I took any action.
If your husband terminates his parental rights, you realize this means he has no legal right to see the child, ever?
As far as I know, he won’t be responsible for child support anymore if he terminates his parental rights. But no amount of money would make me terminate parental rights. How could anyone do this? Sorry if I’m being rude, I just advise kindly that you guys think about this before you do it.
I’d actually try to get some sort of custody or legal visitation, rather than do something so drastic and cold.
The childs mother has put us through a living hell. There is no father-daughter relationship between my husband and the child, also she calls my husband by his first name, not daddy. The man she calls daddy is her step father. We have talked to the mom about getting it lowered since we are about to loose my home and she told me on the phone that if we were that bad off and couldnt afford to support my children that my husband and I could take them to a food bank. We have thought about it and I am tired of my husband worring about helping me make ends meet. We went to go pick his daughter up one day and his ex-wife came after me and she threw rocks at my husbands car. We are thinking of his daughter because she shouldn’t have to go through this. Honestly my husband has gave up fighting and wants to move on and end all ties. He is not emotionally attached anymore and he hasnt been for some time now. It is easy to say fight for visitaion, but we 3 times and since she works for a lawyer she turns it into a money issue everytime and he ends up paying more. My husband made 17,000.00 last year, the judge took 75% of his income for child support. This is not fair! Why should my children go without because of this? Sorry if I am deffensive, I dont mean to be.
By terminating his rights, he would no longer be responsible for child suppport but I wonder why child support more than doubled unless there was a significant change in lifestyle or needs for the child…
I would never presume to judge anyone on this type of decision, but I would caution you also to think before this decision is made. Think of 10 or 15 years down the road. Some medical reason comes up for this child to know the biological father. Or no reason other than a persons need to know where their roots are, as happens with adoptive children sometimes. Terminating parental rights does NOT
guarantee that he will never have any contact with that child again or that he will be ABLE to put it ALL behind him. Once that child is an adult, he/she can find out who their father is. Especially if his name is on the birth certificate.
Ex’s always make things more difficult than they have to be, but that should be no reason to turn his back on a child. I’ll get off my soapbox now…and here’s some information that I found about this. Hope it helps.
Here are the grounds for termination of parental rights in NC Statute 7B-1111: www.ncga.state.nc.us is the website and just click on Statutes. Type in the # above and you can read the entire statute.
Circumstances That Are Grounds for Termination:
Abandonment or Extreme Parental Disinterest
Mental Illness or Deficiency
Alcohol or Drug Induced Incapacity
Failure of Reasonable Efforts
Abuse/Neglect or Loss of Rights of Another Child
Failure to Provide Support
Failure to Establish Paternity
Child Judged in Need of Services/Dependent
Child’s Best Interest
Child in care 15 of 22 months (or less)
Felony assault of child or sibling
Murder/Manslaughter of sibling child
Circumstances That Are Not Grounds for Termination:
Failure to Maintain Contact
Here is something I found on another web site. Some of these are the same but you should probably talk with an attorney regardless.
The phrase “termination of parental rights” can be the most frightening words any parent can hear. On the other hand, this procedure is perhaps one of the strongest legal mechanisms available to protect children in need. In many instances, a termination proceeding is a necessary precursor to the adoption of the child. Although the exact grounds for termination vary from state to state, the following list summarizes the major grounds for terminating a parent’s rights to his or her child.
Severe or chronic abuse or neglect of the child.
Sexual abuse of the child.
Abuse or neglect of other children in the household.
Abandonment of the child or extreme parental disinterest.
Long-term mental illness of the parent.
Long-term alcohol- or drug-induced incapacity of the parent.
Failure to support the child.
Failure to maintain contact with the child.
Failure to provide education.
Felony conviction of the parent for a violent crime against the child or another family member.
Felony conviction of the parent when the term of imprisonment is long enough to negatively impact the child and the only other source of care for the child is foster care.
The child has been in foster care for fifteen of the most recent twenty-two months.
Failure of reasonable efforts to rehabilitate the parent and reunite the family.
Failure of the parent to comply with a court-ordered plan.
The child would be at risk if returned to the home.
Risk of substantial harm to the child.
Inducing the child to commit a crime.
Unreasonable withholding of consent by the noncustodial parent.
Extreme emotional damage to the child inflicted by the parent.
The child’s need for continuity and care.
Parental identity or location is unknown.
The child was conceived as a result of rape or incest.
The putative or presumptive father is not the child’s biological father.
A newborn child is drug- or alcohol-addicted.
Giving birth to three or more drug-affected infants.
Other “egregious conduct” or heinous or abhorrent behavior by the parent.
The child has developed a strong and healthy relationship with his or her substitute family.
The preference of the child.
Voluntary relinquishment of rights by the parent.
Good Luck to you!
THANKS STEP MOM! The child knows my husband is her father, but there is no relationship between them. The mother to the child is married to a man whom as money. The step father has been in the childs life since she was 3 years old. The child is now 9 years old and when he was trying to be apart of her life and bring her to our home she showed no interest in my husband and there was always feuding. That seemed to always make things worse. I know some may think this is a cold thing to do and he doesnt care about his child, and he is turning his back on her, but before anyone is quick to judge put yourself in our shoes when our other two children ( whom are innocent and don’t understand)are having to suffer and looking up at us asking why? How would you feel not knowing how you are going to put groceries in the home and how you will buy christmas. Our parents bought “santa”, or there would not have been. There are two other children we have to think about as well, not just one! No one knows what they will do until they are put in that situation. Yes it is a sad situation and someone will get hurt no matter what happens. We just pray for the best!
Dear concerned wife,
You cannot terminate your own parental rights, they must be taken from you by a court. If the stepfather was interested in adopting the child then your Husband could consent to the adoption and that would terminate his parental rights.
I would urge your Husband to consider the significant emotional impact this decision will have on himself and his child before making a decision.
Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
My husband has a child from a previous marriage whom he is obligated to support and doesnt see the child; however, the child calls her step father “dad”. He just recently went to court and his child support was raised from 303.00 per month to 691.00 per month. We are about to loose our home due to the high child support and it is making it hard for us to support our children now. To make a long story short the mom in the past made it a constant struggle for my husband to see the child. My husband has seen the child twice in the past two years. My husband has no visitaion order and is not behind on his child support. He wants to terminate his rights, so he can put it all behind him. The child’s psychologist says it would be better for him to terminate his rights. Can this be done by my husband and does the mom have to agree for him to do this? Will he still be responsible for child support?