I think that you are asking about several different scenarios here. Tereminating a parents rights is difficult and not done lightly. If you are filing for primary physical and legal custody and he is not interested in fighting that then it’s likely you will win. It’s more likely that they will need him in court also. Terminating his rights and getting custody are two different situations…
In all aspects of this situation you already have primary physical and legal custody due to his lack of involvement or contact.
If you have filed for child support that is a completely different matter to the courts and if he was ordered to pay then it’s likely that the courts will want to find him. His owes you child support and if that is not paid, it will eventually come back around to him, even if you do succeed in terminating his rights.
I guess my question to you would be this: Are you interested more in terminating his parental rights to get his attention and let him know that your son would be solely your responsibility. Or would you rather have things as they are, your son is in your care and you are solely responsible for him. Either way it looks to me as though you are on your own. If you file for either with the courts, he is going to be contacted and possibly required to be present…
With things as they are, there’s always the possibility that his father could change and want to be involved and terminating his parental rights will not change the explaination you must give your son when he begins to question…
Thank you so much for responding, I want ALL his rights taken away, so he cant come back when he feels like it, on and off again! I have already decided how i will tell my son about his father, i never speak bad of him, but my son will know the true reasons why his father is not around. I guess what Im saying is for our safety for the future its best he isnt around. He does pay child support but only 50 dollars a month.
If he is paying child support, regardless of how much, then it’s unlikely that the courts would remove his parental rights. Regardless of the outcome and what is legal, that is your son’s father. That will not change.
Playing devil’s advocate here: What’s to stop him from coming back around even if you are successful in removing his parental rights? A piece of paper saying that he has no legal rights to visit, or have any type of finacial responsibility to this child? What happens when your son turns 13 and wants to contact him? At that point, any reason that you give him may not be sufficient given that it’s not coming from his father…
My suggestion: Put the $50 a month in a savings account and move on with your life. Don’t waste the money on having the paper stating what is already a fact. You have legal and physical custody of your son. IF he does come back around, deal with this situation then. If your son is old enough by then to choose, find out if he wants to see his father. If he’s not then you make the judgement call based on how this man is at that time…
Again thank you for the advice, the thing that will make me file is the fact that he can pick my son up from daycare/school…etc…and it wont be concerned kidnapping, the police cant do anything about it. and he knows that
If you are worried about him picking up your son from daycare/school, I suggest simply put a notation that he is not allowed to be picked up by anyone, except who you will allow. If you have primary physical and legal custody you are allowed to have him barred from picking up your son. You will just need to let the daycare/school know that he is not allowed to pick him up.
My stepson’s both have to have a listing of people allowed to pick them up given to the school each year.
I think it would save time and money on your part to not bother with taking this to court for a formality like this. I may be wrong but I don’t believe that court is necessary…
You need to wait until he has no contact with your son for more than a year before you initiate termination proceedings.
P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com for details
Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
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hello all! this is my first post and hope to get great advice on my situation.
My son just turned 3 years old a month ago, my son’s father left (and hide) when he found out i was pregnant knowing that he was the father. I had my son in july of 2005, filed for child support in sept of 2005, the county found him and has only recently been ordered to pay $50.00 for child support, my son’s father was gone from the time i was 6 months pregnant to Jan 2008, so he “meet” his “son” when my son was 2 1/2 this past Jan. he was around a handful of times to see my son but then again he left and has not contacted me to see our son since april 2008, he has no interest in being a father, he has told me that. My question is when can I file for full custody including no communication between us me and my son and his father, I guess all in all, terminating his rights, is there a time frame where there is no contact to the child that the courts will agree with me? I am thinking due to the way he has shown himself, he will not fight it. I do not care if terminating his rights would stop child support payments, my family and I just dont want to have contact with him anymore since he has proven TWICE that he can not be a father to my 3 year old son. Thanks for any advice!!!