The battle. Advice Please

How can he tell me that his name be put on the birth certificate then turn around and use this child as a tool? I just don’t understand one bit.

If I understand correctly, you were separated for a time and you both were unfaithful? You have a child that is not a biological child from your husband but he was aware of that when he allowed his name to be put on the birth certificate?

Given the situation there is little that he could truly do to take your other child away. If he were legitimately fighting for custody then he would not let one visitation go by without seeing the child. Please document everything. Every missed phone call, every missed visitation and all the events that lead up to this point.
If you do get served with a summons to appear in court for custody then consult an attorney. Until that time, it sounds as though your stbx is trying to make you worry needlessly and make you feel badly about your baby. Maybe the only way he can feel better about what he did to help with the end of your marriage is to make you feel bad about your part. There is nothing that he can do to use that child as a tool to take the other child away…at least not without spending great amounts of money, time and effort. It doesn’t sound as though he’s willing to do that…only making the threat that he will.

Generally the court likes to keep siblings together and your ex’s lack of contact with the children will hurt him when it comes to custody.

If you can let me know more specifically what you are asking I may be able to give you additional information.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Sutton Station
5826 Fayetteville Rd. Suite 205
Durham, NC 27713
Phone: (919) 321-0780

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Yesterday was a pretty sad day. My STBX really had the ball going. Let me explain.

Feb 2007 him and I were seperated due to everything he is was doing emotional in our marriage about girl on the internet. I felt abandoned and alone. I found out about more stuff and kicked him once again out of the home. Well i was really good friends with someone and well one thing lead to another. I did regret that happening but when my STBX and i talked we both got back together and he moved back in the home. Said past is the past and let work on the future. Later the following month found out i was pgnt.
Things at home were getting pretty bad. He was mistreating the other children (step children)can’t go into details on that. He was bad on the internet. So, once again we were falling apart again. We move to a new home and that didn’t seem to work. Internet was more important and it wasn’t just at home he was doing it at work.
Well this last time when everything was really coming out, I couldn’t take it no more. I finally kicked him out and kept him out. He met someone and that was the end of it. He has been out since Feb 2008. Well this is the real punch.

Yesterday he told me that since my little girl doesn’t belong to him that he want our son. That he is going to fight for custody. My STBX moved out of NC months ago. I have the children with me here. He doesn’t call them, unless i call to speak to him or his family is when if when he is in the mood to talk to them, he does. He hasn’t seen them for awhile and missed his 2 weeks visitation in Sept. Well yesterday he said he is going to use our 1 yr old daughter has a tool to take our 2 1/2 yr old son away from me and that is the only way he can get our son. HOw is this so?

Both him and i did stuff. forgave eachother and lived as husband and wife then he kept it up so i kicked him out. How can he use a baby as a tool to get his own blood. Yes he is on the birth certificate of our daughter and was there when i was having her… I just don’t understand how he can use her as a tool…

Someone please help me out and explain this to me.